January 30, 2008
COMRADES, UNITE IN DEFENSE OF THE MOTHERLAND!
I make a habit of telling my students to keep in mind one of Karl Marx's fundamental theories for analyzing socioeconomic and political issues: Ask yourself "Who pays?" and "Who benefits?" I do this not because I desire to turn them all into Marxists, as I find much of Marxism quite stupid. These questions greatly increase the odds that one's understanding of why something that may or may not make sense is happening. It's also a useful way to figure out who's getting it broken off in their collective ass - and who's doing the breaking.
Let's apply these very basic questions to Our Leader (and Congress) as they cook up another nauseatingly cynical "stimulus" plan that consists of sending people big checks 4 months before the election. First of all, why is "stimulus" necessary? For the past 7 years - hell, up until just a few weeks ago - the economy was So Goddamn Strong That We Can Hardly Believe It. It was the Greatest Story Never Told. President Bush, his Treasury Secretary, Ben Bernanke, Alan Greenspan, Fox News....they were breathlessly extolling the magnitude of our economic power. Press fast forward and leap from early December 07 to late January 08. Now economic indicators are "mixed," Americans are "worried," and the economy needs tens of billions in stimulus. Boy, that was fast.
Who's paying? You are, dumbass. Setting aside the stock-footage, often-promised-but-never-fucking-works Supply Side nonsense about how tax cuts/rebates pay for themselves (several times over!) this is simply another (conveniently, of course, long after Bush is history). It's like a cash advance or payday loan. It's a little more like John Doe 2008 borrowing from John Doe 2010. Most of all, it's another example of the "Me! Me! Me!" generation of baby boomers borrowing from their kids while they crank up the Limbaugh and give us all the finger.
I digress.
So who benefits? The knee-jerk reaction might be to say that low income taxpayers do (given that the benefit of an even payment across all incomes is regressive). But honestly, tell me what $600 is going to do for someone whose home is being foreclosed. Or on the brink of bankruptcy. Or balls-deep in debt, getting the utilities disconnected, and so on. If any of that applies, $600 is going to forestall the inevitable for a few more weeks. At best. No, the actual beneficiaries are lenders. They're the ones getting a huge infusion of cash as opposed to the peanuts and individual person will receive.
Our Leader does not give a rimjob from a $3 whore about you, your financial problems, or your mortgage. Regular Americans have been having problems with these issues in increasing numbers for a couple decades. No, what changed between 12/1/07 and 1/29/08 is that the stock market took a dive, mortgage lenders (and banks in general) have released cascading waves of gloomy forecasts and poor results, and the financial industry as a whole is starting to get very uneasy about the bottom line.
A CNN poll (and forgive me, I can't find it at the moment) showed 50% of the respondents indicating that they plan to use their check to pay bills, with about 30% of the remaining half either lying or not very bright ("Ima spend me this bitch on onea dem Vizio TVs!"). I guess the President and Congress thought it might ruffle some feathers to announce "Government to hand banks $150 billion" so setting up the taxpayer as a middleman makes good public relations sense.
Cynical? Borderline Marxist? Paranoid? OK, well, offer me a better explanation of why the economy was fantastic 8 weeks ago and in need of billions in handouts today. Please.
HEY! LOOK! OVER THERE!
PERSPECTIVE
NOBEL LAUREATE IN BEING A TARD
FILE UNDER "SUPPORTING THE TROOPS"
PRIMARY LAG
THAT SPINNING SOUND
BAGHDAD UBER ALLES
WHAT IS TERRORISM?
STAFFED BY REAL SCIENTICIANS
REDEFINING SHADY MATH
GREEK LIGHTNING
SLIGHTLY MORE POPULAR THAN GINANDTACOS!
NEW HAMPSHIRE HAS ITS MOMENT
CHARLIE WILSON'S GLARING OMISSION
OL' DIRTY BASTARD, LEGAL COUNSEL
Q & A
LOTS OF POLITICS FRIDAY
BIRDIE
THE DOG AND PONY SHOW
RESOLVED: THIS IS NOT 2007
GINANDTACOS 2007 COCKSUCKER OF THE YEAR: JOE LIEBERMAN
THE MANY HORRORS OF LEFTIST THINKING
FRONT LOADING
ECONOMIC CRACK
SIMPLE DECLARATIVE SENTENCES: A KEN BURNS FILM
WHEN YOU RIDE ALONE, YOU RIDE WITH JESUS
DIVERSIONARY BLOVIATING
THIS IS THE NEW SOUND
THE BRAVE NEW WORLD
AT LEAST IT'S NOT CHARLIE DANIELS
A TALE OF QUATERNARY IMPORT
SOME POLITICS FRIDAY
WORTHY CAUSES
FIRE UP THE TIVO
ON SUPPORTING THE CLIPPERS
WHERE IS (THEIR) MIND?
MAGIC BEANS AND A BRIDGE FOR SALE
POST-HUMANITY
FEEL FREE TO TASE ME, BRO
HONEST MISTAKES
SELFISH TREES
THE ELEPHANT MAN
A PORT IN THE COMING STORM
WHY ARGUING IS SO FULFILLING
HISTRIONIC ENDURANCE
SO THAT'S WHAT "PEER REVIEWED" MEANS!
KURDLED DIPLOMACY
ALEXANDER SUPERTRAMP
ISLAMO-FASCISM: BE AWARE OF IT
BEHOLD MY MAGICAL POWERS
FRISKY FRIDAY
A BRIDGE TOO FAR...FOR SOME REASON
STUPIDITY VS. AUTHENTICITY
THIS JUST IN: MAN AWESTRUCK BY POTEMKIN VILLAGE
THE "KNOW YOUR REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES" QUIZ!
TEH LIFELINE
FAILING
NO POLITICS, BUT PLENTY OF SHAME
ORIENTALISM
SOMETIMES THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES
THE WHORES OF WAR
THE IVORY TOWER
BUT WHO WILL BE HIS STOCKDALE?
RHETORICAL KEVLAR
NOTHING MAKES ME HORNIER THAN....
FCC DUMBASS QUOTAS
TAXONOMY
BY DEFINITION, SOMEONE MUST WIN
THE MISADVENTURES OF WEALTHY IDIOTS
WORST PERSON ON EARTH
HOW TO LIE WITH STATISTICS
FUCK IT, WHY NOT JUST MAKE HIM THE POPE?
BROKEN ARROW
THE PITCHER PLANT
POPULISM, G.O.P. STYLE
AND THE SHEEP TREMBLE
HOW MUCH PENETRATION IS ENOUGH?
FAILURE TO RESPECT STALL BOUNDARIES
VAYA CON DIOS
AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRIS TUCKER
I WONDER IF THE SHAH IS STILL AVAILABLE
GOOD, THIS IS BAD.
WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD
A WORLD OF NAILS
THE FINAL FRONTIER, ETC.
BOY GENIUS
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE
AN OPEN LETTER TO AMERICA'S PHARMACISTS
ROLE REVERSAL
PERSONAL AD
SO IT'S COME TO THIS, PART 2
ED VS. THE HANTAVIRUS
2008 SENATE RACES: COMPETITIVE SEATS, PART ONE
SO IT'S COME TO THIS
LOCKED AS TIGHTLY AS A DRUNKEN IRISHMAN'S MOUTH
SEEING AMERICA, ONE ARBY'S AT A TIME
FORKS, ROADS, AND MANIC STREET PREACHERS
EPIC
NEOCON LOVE BOAT
ED VS. LOGICAL FALLACIES, PART 4: CUM HOC ERGO PROPTER HOC
OK, LET ME GRAB MY CHECKBOOK
2 X 2 MUST SOMEHOW EQUAL FIVE
THE MYSTERIES OF CHESSBOXIN'
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
2008 SENATE RACES: INTRODUCTION
WELL, THAT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED
GRAB SOME POPCORN
SCOOTER WHIPS IT OUT
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR
PARDON ME, SIR
I HAVE $100 AND YOU HAVE A BIG PROBLEM
SICKO
BJU
STICKING UP FOR THE LITTLE GUY
THIS IS WHY I HATE POLITICS
WE VOTED FOR HOLLYWOOD BEFORE WE VOTED AGAINST IT
A MOAT AROUND THE BLOGROLL
AND NOW WE PLAY THE WAITING GAME...
FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALL!
ICONIC MOMENTS OF MY CHILDHOOD
Ceci n'est pas une Libertarian
BETWEEN THE LINES
VERBAL MASTURBATION
GRAVEL VS. KUCINICH: DECISION 2008
NATURE VS. NURTURE
LARD-ASSED SUBURBAN WHITE GUYS, CIRCLE THE WAGONS!
CARTOGRAPHIC FUN
THE MARKETPLACE OF IDEAS
TIME WELL SPENT
THIS IS WHAT A TERRORIST LOOKS LIKE
NICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT
AN OPEN SET OF OUTCOMES
HYPERVENTILATING
COOPIE 'N ME
SUMMERS AT CAMP CHICKENHAWK
SO IT'S COME TO THIS
WELL, THAT OUGHTA DO IT
THANKS, PUBLIC SCHOOLS!
THIS IS WHEN THINGS GET REEEEEEAL GOOD
TAKE YOUR TIME, ASSHOLES.
TIER-FOUR INTELLIGENCE
WEAK WEEK
TWO RAPID REVIEWS
PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME IN HEAVEN
MAILING IT IN
CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING
THAT DARNED LIBERAL MEDIA
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
GRAB SOME POPCORN
THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD
A MILLION LITTLE (SHITTY) PIECES
BET ON THE THREE-LEGGED ROCKING HORSE
"I SNORTED MY FATHER"
BAGHDAD = INDIANA, OR: HOW MCCAIN JUMPED THE SHARK
GRADUATE SCHOOL COMMITTEE-SPEAK TRANSLATOR
THOSE DAMNED BLUE COLLAR TWEEKERS
BLADE
I CALL IT "THE NEW WAY"
HOW TO BE IN A BAND
AMERICAN INGENUITY
COMING SOON (TO A CITY NEAR YOU)
I BELIEVE YOU, DON
SCOOTER, YOU JUST GOT F'ED IN THE A
THIS STATION IS NON-OPERATIONAL
THEY NEED AN ENTRY FOR "PSEUDOSCIENCE"
WHAT WHAT
WINNING OVER THE KIDS, ONE MARION BARRY JOKE AT A TIME
YOU'D BEST SOUND OFF YOU LOVE THE VIRGIN MARY
WHAT A TRAGIC MISUNDERSTANDING
SOMEHOW "DELUSIONAL" IS INADEQUATE
JURY SELECTION
FLORIDA: WE HAVE NO VAGINAS
ME NO SPEAKY ENGLISH!
MONEY WELL SPENT
TWO EULOGIES
BURNING MY LUDDITE CARD
I WONDER IF DICK CHENEY OPPOSES THIS TOO
YOU TOO CAN COCKBLOCK GIRLS GONE WILD
JUST LIKE ANY LARGE U.S. CITY
You know that's permanent, right?
SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS
BE THE FIRST KID ON YOUR BLOCK WITH A DEPRESSED PLATELET COUNT!
THIS HAS TO BE CLINTON'S FAULT
THE BREADTH OF OPTIONS IS JUST STUNNING
CNN WINS!
PUNISHMENT FOR SHOPLIFTING
STATE OF DENIAL
CATEGORY: WORST RAP BY A WHITE GIRL
WELL, THERE'S A HALF HOUR I CAN'T GET BACK
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE ALL THIS "PROGRESS"
THIS IS A GOOD SIGN, RIGHT?
Mea culpa
BROTHERS, SISTERS, COME TOGETHER!
INVISIBLE (BAD) TOUCH
PINOCHET: DEAD. GOD: "SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG."
WORDS FAIL ME
WHAT PART OF "IT'S NOT LIKE VIETNAM" DON'T YOU GET?
SEND LAWYERS, GUNS, AND MONEY
OBITUARY
I <3 EXPERIMENTS
MAYBE HE'S RIGHT!
BLUE BALLS
CUT HIM SOME SLACK - HE'S A LUMBERJACK
COALITION OF...AH, FUCK IT. IT'S JUST US.
RICHES AWAIT YOU
LOOK OUT, DENNIS MILLER!
POPTONES
STANLEY SPIDOWSKI LOSES IT
LET ME GUESS....
IF YOU'RE HAVIN' GIRL PROBLEMS...
MAYDAY! MAYDAY! WE'VE LOST ENGINE #2!
I'M TOUGH BUT FAIR
PILOT TO GUNNER! WE'RE BREAKING UP! EJECT!
IT'S COMING DOWN
LET THE MELTDOWN BEGIN!
MACACANS 1, REPUBLICANS 0
IT'S SO HAAAAAAAAARD TO SAY GOODBYE
LESSON LEARNED
RUMINATIONS
WHO ARE YOU TO ARGUE WITH SOUTH CAROLINA?
THE END
CRITICAL (M)ASS
YAWWWWWWWWWWN
CAN'T SPELL 'COMEDY' WITHOUT 'HARD GAY'
THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL
MENTAL NOTE: KERRY = ASSHOLE
BUT SHE WAS THE PRO-FAMILY KIND OF FUCKBUDDY
DESPERATION
YOUR VALUABLE WEB-BROWSING TIME
WELL, I DO HAVE A BIRTHDAY COMING UP...
IT'S TRUE. THE MAN LOVES MCDONALD'S.
IF THEY GET ANY MORE SUBTLE, THEY'LL DISAPPEAR
SOME MOTHERFUCKERS ARE ALWAYS TRYIN'....
SUBTLETY
THAT DARNED LIBERAL MEDIA
THE ANGEL GETS ITS WINGS
FLACCIDITY
DEFENDING THE WORLD FROM YELLOWCAKE
SMOKIN' POLL
SAVE YOUR MONEY, FOOL
CULTURE OF BOY ASS
JUST BECAUSE
A CONGRESSIONAL FIRST
ON AGING
SPEAK UP, BOBBY!
PRETEND IT MATTERS
BREAK OUT THE DEPENDS
POPE VS. SPACE POPE
HIGH-PROFILE HYPERBOLE
FIVE YEARS
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
SAFE SEX PRACTICES
COME ON, ACTIVIST JUDGES
MY CALLING
HMM, I WONDER WHY
FUCK YOU, CLYDE TOMBAUGH
BOY PANTS DOWN
LIKE THAT TYSON-SECRETARIAT FIGHT
A TAYLOR HICKS BEATDOWN
ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI
NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT
NO, REALLY: FUCK JOE LIEBERMAN
BOYS GONE WILD
THE END OF MY POLITICAL CAREER
THE PASSION OF THE ASSHOLE
LANCE BASS: I'M GAY.
THREE TOTALLY UNRELATED NEWS ITEMS
REASONS TO LIVE, VOL. 1
THE WORLD SPORT - THE UNEVOLVED WORLD, THAT IS
OUR SONG (TM)
MONEY MONEY MONEY
AMERICA - FUCK YEAH
MAKING UP SO MUCH LOONY SHIT MUST BE REALLY HARD
GET THAT CORN OUT OF MY FACE
LOYALTY PURCHASES
HOW TO GET FIRED IN PUBLISHING
THAT'S CAJUN FOR "I AM FUCKING INSANE"
IT MAY BE A STRAW MAN, BUT IT'S STILL SATISFYING
IMMIGRANTS, GAYS, AND THE POLITICAL GRIST MILL
TSEKKITUKKA GALORE!
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALMOST IMPRESSIVE AT THIS POINT
"DOCTOR, IT BURNS WHEN I PEE..."
CRYSTAL BALL(S)
THE MONEY WILL ROLL RIGHT IN
GETTING IMMIGRANTS OFF TO A GOOD START
PAT BUCHANAN: VISIONARY
WE'VE GOT NOTHING. WE'RE COMPLETELY OUT OF IDEAS. HAPPY?
WELL AT LEAST THEM DAMN QUEERS AIN'T MARRYIN'
OK, LET'S GO OVER THIS REAL FUCKING SLOWLY
CALL GREENSPAN! WHIP OUT THE PRINTING PRESS!
WHAT THE DUKE LACROSSE RAPE CASE HAS TAUGHT ME
"MR. LEBOWSKI IS IN SECLUSION..."
EIGHT YEAR OLDS, DUDE.
IF YOU'RE NOT EXCITED, YOU MUST BE DEAD
GINANDTACOS.COM AMBER ALERT
LEVELS OF COMMITTMENT
KEVIN SMITH, OR: EXHIBIT 'A' IN THE CASE AGAINST LIVING PAST 30
I HATE EVERY APE I SEE, FROM CHIM-PAN-A TO CHIMPANZEE
THE THREE-DAY WEEKEND, ILLINOIS-WISCONSIN STYLE
POLITICAL GAMESMANSHIP 101
"I NEED A SPOUSE WHO ACCEPTS ME AS A TRIPLE-AMPUTEE."
OK REPUBLICANS, TAKE YOUR PICK
THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION MAN HAS EVER PONDERED
REST IN PEACE, NICE GUY EDDIE
NOW IT MAKES SENSE. CONGRESS > BILL OF RIGHTS. GOT IT.
EMO EXPLAINED.
POINT/COUNTERPOINT: A SAFER IRAQ
05 in Review - Industry to Christian right: "Fuck you."
A SALUTE TO OBLIGATORY GIFTING
COMING SOON: FLYING TIPS FROM JFK JUNIOR
TREMENDOUS FLUFFY NEEDS YOUR HELP
10 THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN WATCH "WALK THE LINE"
OH, NOW IT MAKES SENSE
THE SEX SLAVES, OR: HOW I LEARNED THE PROBLEM WITH MUSIC
SATURDAY NIGHT SPECIAL
PHASE V: SWORD-FALLING
UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMORS OF 49 OTHER STATES
DITKA. SAUSAGE. DITKA.
THE 2005 DION RAYFORD AWARD GOES TO...
LET'S ASSAULT A FIRST BASE COACH FOR GOOD LUCK
EUGENICS: IT'S NOT JUST FOR NAZIS ANYMORE
SOMEHOW, NOMINATING JEB WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE DIGNIFIED
THIS IS WHY I DON'T FEAR CHINA'S MILITARY BUILDUP
"BROWNIE, YOU'RE DOIN' A HECK OF A JOB"
WHICH ONE IS LOOTING?
GINANDTACOS.COM SALUTES THE DIRTY SHOTGUN
TIM RUSSERT: "BITCH, YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUESTIONS"
THE MENTAL FANTASY WORLD OF MODERN CONSERVATISM
MMM, THE SWEET TASTE OF BULLSHIT!
TODAY'S FORECAST: 90% CHANCE OF STOCK FOOTAGE
TAKE'EM OUT! YOU GOTTA KEEP'EM SEPARATED!
ARTICLE IV: THE RIGHT TO GET BLOWN THE FUCK UP
DOGFUCKERS, UNITE!
FORT WAYNE ROCK CITY
RUNNING ON EMPTY 2008
GINANDTACOS.COM ASSERTS ITS CONSERVATIVE CREDENTIALS
I'D BETTER WRAP UP THE RIGHTS TO THE BOOK OF DEUTERONOMY
EXPLAINING THE INEXPLICABLE
ANONYMOUS SOURCES = MILITARY P.R. BOILERPLATE
DROP THE "D" AND CALL IT SUPERFUN!
LET THE GAMES BEGIN
NOW HIRING
WATCH OUT, DAVID...DEATH COMES IN THREES
WE'LL BE GETTING ASTRO-SHITFACED IN OUR HOVERCARS
FOX PRESENTS: WHEN LEFT-HANDED PITCHERS ATTACK
WELCOME, WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU
MISUNDERESTIMATION
HAPPY FLAG DAY!
TENNESSEE: COME FOR THE MUSIC, STAY FOR THE GARGANTUAN COCKFIGHTS
THANK GOD HIS NOMINATION IS NO LONGER DELAYED
IT WILL ALWAYS BE "COMISKEY PARK" TO ME
LET THE FUCKING BEGIN
SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: IT'S NOT JUST FOR SENATE MAJORITY LEADERS ANYMORE
"CHA!" SAID THE POWER FORWARD
CHICAGO BASEBALL UBER ALLES
JAMES DOBSON: RENAISSANCE MAN
IF WE WERE ANTELOPE, YOU'D BE THE FIRST ONE EATEN.
DO THE SCHIAVO!
I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT, I WATCH "SEX AND THE CITY"
IN THE FUTURE, EVEN THE AIR WILL BE FOR SALE
"THE PASSION OF TERRI SCHIAVO"
SO IT'S SETTLED
GINANDTACOS.COM MAKES A LIVING WILL
"I can’t think of anybody who has a racist thought on Darkie Day."
A BACHELOR'S FROM PEPSI STATE
TAKE THAT, SEARCH ENGINES.
POSTSCRIPT: AN OPEN LETTER TO "JEFF GANNON" AND "TALON NEWS"
ONCE AGAIN, THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH.
TRUTH IN ADVERTISING
DON'T GET TOO HIGH AND MIGHTY
SAVVY CONSUMERS OF MINDING YOUR SOCIAL CASTE
2004 IN REVIEW - BEST CONSERVATIVE ASS-KISSING
THESE COOKIES DON'T RUN
EBAY TO GINANDTACOS.COM - "WE WILL ONE-UP YOU, BITCHES."
EBAY: THE ALBANIA OF THE U.S. ECONOMY
SPONGEBOB QUEERBAIT
WARNING: FANCY BOOK LEARNIN' MAY CAUSE EMPHESYMA
AN EXCITING ETYMOLOGICAL EXTRAVAGANZA
AND YET THE DONNAS CONTINUE TO MAKE ALBUMS.
DENNIS MILLER: A CASE STUDY IN OPPORTUNISTIC COCKSUCKERY
TAKE THAT, UTILITARIAN PRUDENCE!
WE HAVE A NEW "MOST UNNECESSARY AUTOPSY EVER" TITLE HOLDER!
SO IT'S COME TO THIS
YOU MEAN....HE USED STEROIDS?
RELIGIOUS CONSERVATIVES: THEY MUST BE REAL, BECAUSE I COULDN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP
ISN'T IT TIME FOR THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT TO FINALLY HAVE A LIKE-MINDED PRESIDENT?
TO DIE UNSUNG WOULD REALLY BRING YOU DOWN
SO IS IT WRITTEN, AND SO SHALL IT BE
AN OPEN LETTER TO SINGLE-ISSUE VOTERS
TWO AMERICAS INDEED
HOW FAIR IS THIS ELECTION? IT'S NICARAGUA FAIR.
GINANDTACOS PUTS UP, SHUTS UP.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK FLORIDA. RIGHT IN THE ASS.
A: FEDORAS AND SPEAKING
HE'S CHANGING CLIPS!
NO, REALLY: WHOOPS.
BITCH, I DISPUTE YOUR METHODOLOGY
ELECTION 2004: THE CAR WRECK YOU CAN'T STOP STARING AT
MOTOROLA'S MATHEMATICAL MAGICIANS
AND THE '04 GINANDTACOS AWARD FOR ACHIEVEMENT IN THE FIELD OF DRIVING GOES TO.....
THE BUSH LEGACY WILL BE REMEMBERED AS THE SERIES OF AMAZING COINCIDENCES THAT IT IS.
GINANDTACOS CLARIFIES ITS STANCE ON THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE
WHEN YOU FAILED LOGIC, I BET YOU SHOT THE TEACHER.
ELECTION '04: MORE WRINKLES THAN STROM THURMOND'S SCROTUM
BABY, I GOT YOUR MONEY
THE FUNNIEST PRIME TIME PROGRAMMING SINCE "SEINFELD"
GINANDTACOS.COM: WE MAY ALSO HOLD A DRAFT
HAVE SOME WINE AND CHICKEN CEREAL WHILE YOU SMOKE AT FUNERALS
FROM THE ASININE TO THE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE ASININE
AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE
MOVIES THAT HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE AWFUL, BUT....
THE DEATH OF GREATNESS IN OUR TIME.
IMPORTANT MOMENTS IN POLITICAL CONVENTION HISTORY
LIKE JESUS JOINING FORCES WITH BUDDAH, ONLY BETTER.
1 + 1 = ELECTORAL COLLEGE FUN
eBay: FOR ALL YOUR PARTICLE ACCELERATING NEEDS
I NEVER SAW SO MANY WHITE PEOPLES
RACISM IS IMAGINARY, LIKE UNICORNS AND ESKIMOS
WE'RE ALL SUBMISSIVES IN THE CULTURAL SCAT PORN.
I WILL GIVE YOU $19.99 IF YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR.
IT MUST BE BETTER, IT COSTS TEN TIMES AS MUCH.
TONY BLAIR, YOU GOT SERVED
A FITTING TRIBUTE
BUT ED, THE GOVERNMENT WOULDN'T LIE.
CHENEY TO AMERICA: "HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY. ALSO, FUCK YOU."
UNFORTUNATELY, CHARLTON HESTON WAS NOT AMONG THE VICTIMS
CAN YOU SAY SUBLIMATED HOMOSEXUAL DESIRES?
ME, A TRUCK FULL OF EXPLOSIVES, AND VH1's STUDIOS.
IF THE DEAL IS "BLOOD FOR OIL", WE'RE GETTING THE FUCKING SHAFT
SO I GUESS WE'RE ALL POTENTIAL GOVERNMENT CONTRACTORS
GINANDTACOS.COM - WORKING HARDER THAN A ONE-LEGGED MAN PLAYING SOCCER
I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR GENEVA CONVENTION VIOLATIONS
STOCKBROKERS OR RAPISTS: WHICH ARE MORE NUMEROUS IN HEAVEN?
ABANDON THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS, FOR THEY TEACH NO RUG BRAIDING
BLANKET GENERALIZATIONS: CRITICAL THINKING FOR IDIOTS
THAT SPINNING SOUND IS JUST KURT, DEAR.
HEY, DOES ANYONE KNOW THE ARABIC FOR "UNCLE TOM"?
DON'T WORRY, THE MARKET IS JUST CORRECTING YOUR STANDARD OF LIVING
DRASTIC TIMES CALL FOR COMPLETELY IDIOTIC SOLUTIONS
STAGPLOYMENT MANIA!