Category: Quick Hits

Two things. Two things that prove that the Teabagger movement is essentially daring people to vote for them. Not asking, not persuading, but extending their middle finger to say "Come on, do it. We dare you."

1. This:

Shorter: "I am fucking insane. Do you have the balls to vote for someone who is as obviously insane as me? I bet you don't. Pussy. But you're kinda curious about what would happen if I won, aren't you?"

2. Teabagland has found a new enemy, one that is sure to win them a whole new realm of supporters: legislation aimed at shutting down puppy mills. That's right, their "big gub'mint" paranoia is so extreme that they are opposed to a ballot measure to shut down puppy mills. They are anti-anti-puppy mill. This is the political platform of Skeletor.

(A)ccording to the Alliance For Truth, the main force behind the anti-Prop B movement, there is something much more nefarious afoot (er, apaw) in the HSUS measure. The Alliance For Truth claims that the HSUS has a "radical agenda" and is "misleading the public with its intentions on Prop B. The society seeks only to raise the cost of breeding dogs, making it ever-more difficult for middle-class American families to be dog-owners."

Anita Andrews from Alliance For Truth told TPM that it's a "deceptive, lying bill" that is "trying to purposefully get rid of the breeders." The state of Missouri, she said, has been given a bad rap as "the puppy mill capitol" of the U.S. but "in truth we have the best ribbon breeders in the country." And, Andrews said, the state already has anti-cruelty laws on the books.

"They don't like animals," she said of the Humane Society of the United States.

I give up on trying to figure out if this movement is real or an elaborate Joaquin Phoenix-style joke.

Just a friendly reminder. These stickers are perfect for your laptop, bumper, guitar case, locker, bike helmet, front door (keep the Jehovah's Witnesses away), bong, or forehead. In the absence of clothing, one or more stickers can be placed hastily over your genitals.

3" x 5" stickers on heavy white vinyl – $3.50 (shipping included, unless it's outside of the U.S.)

Gin and Tacos | Promote Your Page Too

NPF is canceled. Because of this. You must watch this. Must. Andrew Shirvell, the man behind this controversy (the video also provides some background) made the remarkably brilliant decision to give an interview to Anderson Cooper. I think he makes a great impression!

The important thing that we learn from this video is that Andrew Shirvell is not in the least bit gay. He is not gay like a Mardi Gras parade or a french horn solo or a meadow in springtime. The odds of him being arrested in an airport bathroom whilst servicing a transvestite are zero. It could never happen because he is not gay. His obsession with young, popular, successful, and handsome 21 year old gay man Chris Armstrong stems from his deep moral convictions and not from a latent desire to engage in sexual activities with other men.

I cannot be any clearer or more emphatic about the fact that Andrew Shirvell is not gay. Furthermore, Shirvell has convinced me that it is well within his 1st Amendment rights to do creepy shit like show up at Chris Armstrong's house, stalk his friends, or follow him around in public with a video camera. So feel free to let Andrew Shirvell (who is not gay) know how much you support his 1st Amendment rights as a private citizen who is not gay.

SHIRVELL, ANDREW L (shirvella@michigan.gov)
216 LEGACY PARK DR APT 5
CHARLOTTE, MI 48813-1352
(517) 373-1110

Comments on this post must all emphasize that Mr. Shirvell is utterly and indisputably not gay or they will be deleted. Commenters will be banned for suggesting that Andrew Shirvell is gay because he is not.

One of the downsides of my current circumstances is the extent to which 29 years in the Midwest did not prepare my body for what Georgia was going to do to it. Heat, I knew there would be heat.
buy antabuse online buy antabuse no prescription

Humidity too. But the pollen? Good lord, the pollen. It's so heavy in the spring that one's car is covered in a layer, as fine as cake flour, of green pollen every morning. After a few weeks of this a mighty thunderstorm comes along and treats us to three days of green rain, approximately the hue and consistency of Ecto Cooler. But in the fall it's just a barrage of silent killers. I see no pollen. I know only that I can't breathe and I'd love to scoop both eyes out with a melon baller.

It is 11 PM on Wednesday, the usual "time to start writing a post" hour, and my eyes are virtually swollen shut by…
buy priligy online buy priligy no prescription

whatever Georgia uses to attack me. Not only am I unable to stare at the screen for very long through burning eyes, but my ability to be interesting is severely compromised. So here is a pair of images that came across my social networking feeds on Wednesday. Please decide which one is more troubling, for I cannot.

Also, enrich your mind for a few minutes with the musings of the Discovery Channel hostage-taker, God rest his crazy, crazy ass.

The question is no longer if America is doomed but if it is worth saving at this point.

So, I'm going to do a couple of things I have never done before.

First, I am going to get opposite married. Yes, the reception features gin and tacos. Here, as some of you have suggested in the past, is a donation button in case you want to contribute to the honeymoon fund. We currently do not have one planned because we have no money. But in time we hope to take one. I hate the idea of asking for money and not giving you something in return, but hey, it's quite optional. No pressure.

Second, I am going to take a short break from posting. For nearly six years I have updated this thing every weekday, plus the occasional weekend and afternoon bonus posts. I do so because I like doing it, of course, but also because I am deeply paranoid that if I stop the audience will disappear. This is a personal shortcoming, this pathological fear of abandonment. So for a long time I have done semi-ridiculous things like blog on job interviews, pre-blog entire weeks worth of material to cover vacations, or stay up until 3:30 in the AM to get a post up for the following day. I know that the internet is full of alternatives and I've always assumed that if this one stops providing you with content you will forget about it and find another. And everyone says the key to blog success is A) to be good and B) update, update, update. Accordingly, I've tried to do both.

This is a long way of saying I will be back on Monday or Tuesday (August 9 or 10). It feels like an eternity to me, but once every six years or once per marriage (whichever elapses first) seems reasonable. So here's the deal: I'll come back if you'll come back. Let us shake on it and agree not to forget one another.

See you on the 9th. For those of you hip enough to be pals with G&T on Spacebook, I'll be sure to leave enough bile on the update feed to prevent withdrawal for the addicts out there.

Gin and Tacos | Promote Your Page Too

Thanks,
Ed

I'm very pressed for time today, so bear with me.

You have probably already seen this story from a week or two ago about David Jungerman, the brilliant Missouri farmer who put up a billboard on his property stating "Are you a Producer or Parasite? Democrats – Party of the Parasites." Thirty seconds of public records searching later, it was revealed that Mr. Jungerman has received well over $1,000,000 in farm subsidy checks since 1995. Cue the sad trombone.

Crop subsidies are different, he said. When crop prices dip below a certain point, the federal government makes up the difference with a subsidy payment.

“That’s just my money coming back to me,” Jungerman, 72, said Monday. “I pay a lot in taxes. I’m not a parasite."

Ah. Well now it is clear that you are not a hypocrite.

Assuming you've heard this story already, your assignment for today is to read the comments from the KC Star (the nearest major media outlet, and thus the one giving this story the most time).

It's obvious that this story has snark value on its face – Ha ha, here's another totally hypocritical old teabagger – but just look at the number of people defending him and the intense intellectual contortions in which they must engage to do so (unsuccessfully).
buy cipro online buy cipro no prescription

Yes, the number of people criticizing him outnumbers those defending him. But the idea that anyone would fail to understand why this person is an idiot is troubling, let alone 30 to 40 percent of the comments.

This, to use an overused phrase, is what is wrong with America.
online pharmacy fluoxetine best drugstore for you

The country, not to mention Congress, is just riddled with people like this. Anything the government does that benefits me is necessary and right. Anything the government does that does not benefit me is pork, waste, unconstitutional, and/or cause to hoard firearms and threaten armed revolution. The logic really is that simple, which is to say it really is that stupid.
online pharmacy xenical best drugstore for you

buy flagyl online buy flagyl no prescription

That, in 25 words or one picture of an idiot from Missouri, is what ails us. There is no way for our politics to make sense if any non-negligible portion of the voting public holds beliefs this contradictory and flat-out stupid.

(BONUS: "He’s a staunch believer in personal responsibility. In 1990, he and his daughter confronted four teens they caught fishing in a pond on their Raytown land. The boys called them names and threatened them, Jungerman said, and one spit on Jungerman’s daughter. Jungerman pulled a snub-nosed .38-caliber and held them until police arrived." Awesome!)

I don't relish being That Guy who throws a wet blanket over delightful holiday traditions, but as I sat through the fireworks at the local park on Sunday night I could not help but wonder why in the hell any town or city in America was having fireworks this year. Aren't we all broke? Like, laying people off and closing schools broke?

My current city of about 100,000 is as broke as any other similarly sized urban area in the country, if not moreso.
buy priligy online buy priligy no prescription

The average fireworks show for a place of this size costs anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 depending on the level of extravagance. For governments preaching fiscal austerity, belt tightening, and "tough decisions" this seems like a frivolous expense. Chicago raised a lot of ire by canceling its massive Grant Park fireworks show in 2010. While I've attended that event many times and gotten quite a bit of enjoyment out of it, it is the right thing to do in one of the most fiscally strapped cities in the country. How can $1.5 million be justified for fireworks when they can barely keep the schools open?

The political rhetoric of "tough choices" is very different from the reality. Cutting pensions, benefits, and salaries of government employees or slashing budgets for education is easy. Most people don't notice the effects of those cuts in their daily lives. The real tough choices are the ones people will notice – tax hikes and canceled services. And even though fireworks shows are hardly on the same level as things like policing, street repair, or garbage collection, they all have one thing in common: people will notice that they are gone. So it appears that here in Georgia, as in most of America, the elected officials would rather blow money on something totally unnecessary than risk canceling the circuses and having to explain to the half-conscious herd what "We are completely broke" means.

Better to just make up the difference by cutting something Cletus the Teabagger won't notice.

buy wellbutrin online buy wellbutrin no prescription

You know, something like the public library.

I could not devise a way to combine these two items so today will be a rare post in Standard Blog Style, i.
buy prednisone online buy prednisone no prescription

e. a buffet of unrelated links.

1. From Mike, tangential to Tuesday's gun post: Legislation ("Supported by the National Rifle Association!!") has been introduced in the House to exempt guns from bankruptcy proceedings.
buy synthroid online buy synthroid no prescription

I have to give them credit for putting some thought into the still-ludicrous rationale; allowing banks to repossess our guns would deprive us of our (newly extant) God-given right to protect ourselves. I support this legislation. Sure, they can take your home, your car, your life savings, and everything you've ever worked for in your life, but JP Morgan will be legally required to leave you a fair chance to blow your brains out, start a criminal career, or murder a family member under the stress of your disintegrating lifestyle. Congress is always looking out for the little guy.

2. Confederate Yankee has long been one of the dumbest sources of misspelled, grammatically tortured right wing spittle on the interwebs, but the guy managed to top himself with his musings on the Senate proposal to extend unemployment benefits:

(prominent liberal bloggers) moan and wail because it appears a Republican filibuster may finally end the unending unemployment gravy train…The filibuster has support because Republicans and Nelson understand that you can't keep plunging the country further into debt and expect to climb out of a recession. By stopping unemployment benefits, the Senate will force those lazy Americans enjoying "funemployment" to get off their backsides and get back to work.

I was going to FJM this, but it is some new, advanced kind of rhetorical technology.
online pharmacy singulair best drugstore for you

It is self-mocking. Let's try to think of all of the things that are more fun than being unemployed and, for the rare unemployed people who qualify, reaping poverty-level financial benefits for a couple of months. This won't take long because the correct answer is NOTHING.
online pharmacy azithromycin best drugstore for you

Nothing is more fun than Funemployment!!

Read the whole thing if you like bad arguments. It is the fucking Comstock Lode of anecdotal evidence.

Grab some stickers. Papa needs a new pair of everything. These are perfect for your laptop, bumper, guitar case, locker, bike helmet, front door (keep the Jehovah's Witnesses away), bong, or forehead. In the absence of clothing, one or more stickers can be placed hastily over your genitals. Coffee mugs coming soon. You people aren't going to leave me with a giant box of unsold coffee mugs, are you? I'm thinking you are.

3" x 5" stickers on heavy white vinyl – $3.50 (shipping included, unless it's outside of the U.S.)

Gin and Tacos | Promote Your Page Too