Liking Harry Potter does not make you a child or an idiot.

Today the third installment of the Harry Potter film franchise is released nation wide. Nine tenths of the critics are raving about it- with dissenting views coming from places like “The Arizona Daily Star.” I think that it is now timely to point out to those few remaining people who think that there is something wrong with Harry Potter that they ought to give it a rest.

No, this story is not the most intellectual thing you will ever read or see, you are not going to impress that girl at the coffee shop by reading Harry Potter spine up (but lets face it, you weren’t going to impress her with Wittgenstein either). Since when does entertainment always have to be enlightening?

Harry potter is to literature what Outkast is to music, or Friends is to television.

It is not the most profound thing available, but it is a well-crafted story with interesting characters. It is amusing, lighthearted, with a decent amount of suspense.

What J. K. Rowling is creating is essentially the perfect piece of pop art. Like that silly song that makes you tap your foot subconsciously, these stories suck you in before you realize what has happened.
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That said, if you have ever watched reality TV, or watch any situational comedies, get rid of your presence and go see this movie.

And the GOP says….Call Talk Radio!

Yes, the choir is about to be preached to!

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Anyone who has switched their radio band to AM in the last couple years will have noticed that neocons dominate the airwaves. Being an official ginandtacos.com liason to conservative talk radio is a thankless and often masochistic task. However, it is not without its rewards.

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Time and time again you are amused by the circular rhetorical techniques employed by hosts. You become amazed at how the same sentence can get rephrased several hundred times to make a three hour program essentially consist of on statement. You are dumbfounded by a host responding to reasonalble critisism with a louder statement of the original position.

Beyond all else, I am continually amazed by the depth of callers who seem completely oblivious to reality, and yet have such a firm grasp of conservative talking points. Previously I answered this apparent enigma with the conclusion that callers are simply repeating statements they heard on other talk shows.

Imagine my surprise when I found that this is actually an endored campaign technique both the Republican National Commitee and the Bush campaign themselves. Accepting the fact that if you are a Bush supporter you clearly gave up on the concepts of original thought and logic four years ago, the George W Bush website not only gives you tips on how to get on the air, what programs to call, but also exact quotes to say.

[directly from georgewbush.com]

  • Winning the War on Terror.
    After September 11, 2001, President Bush acted decisively to rout Al Qaeda from their hiding places, and America is safer as a result. The global war on terror continues to be waged with focus and determination.

  • Defending Against Weapons of Mass Destruction.
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    Our military proceeded with skill and bravery to liberate the people of Afghanistan and Iraq, and ensure that weapons of mass destruction never find their way into the hands of terrorists.

  • Supporting Our Military.
    President Bush has increased defense spending in all of his budgets, giving our servicemen and women the resources and the advanced technology they need to face today’s threats.

I am a bit confused. There was no mention of all the jobs George Bush has created.

Republicans Hate Al Gore.

They really do. Talk radio personality Sean Hannity does not seem to be able to bring up Al Gore without using discriptive terms such as "shrill" or "insane." In fact, on his website, Sean Hannity asks the question: Is Al Gore losing his mind? The truth of the matter is, Al Gore very well might be insane.

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He very well might be losing his mind. Does anyone really care? Does anyone actually listen to Al Gore anyway? Democrats barely cared about him in 2000.

Despite the fact that even democrats believed him to be lacking even the vaguest shred of charisma during the last election, republican pundits in 2004 seem to be labeling him as the great democratic spokesman. Other than the 45 college students who are there to see him speak, the only people who hear what he has to say are viewers of Hannity of Limbaugh.

The truth of the matter is not that Gore speaks for the democratic party, but rather that he is a living breathing conservative talking point. Everytime he gives a speech republicans get to say the following.

  • The Democratic party is desperately trying to regain the power that they previously had despite the fact that it is not what the american people want.
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    -common Limbaugh sentiment

  • Is the tone of Al Gore really befitting an ex-vice president -common Hannity statement
  • Is it appropriate for prominent democrats to align themselves with Moveon.org, an organization that compared Bush to Hitler? -also Hannity
  • And most intriguing of all… Everytime Gore speaks he gives conservatives another excuse to blame everything on Bill Clinton. "We'd stop talking about Clinton if they would just shut up." -Mark Levin on Hannity and Combs.

So to put it bluntly, everytime Al Gore opens his mouth, even if it is to address 27 people on some college quad somewhere, it gives conservatives justification to say things like. "Look at the lengths the democrats are willing to go to in order to win," and "Why didn't Bill Clinton kill Bin Laden when he had the chance?"

The truth of the matter is, this is just another example of how 2004 is becoming one of the most pathetic presidential elections this country has seen since the American people had to choose between Barry Goldwater and Lyndon Johnson. Democrats are being forced to vote on how much we hate George Bush and not any affection for John Kerry. Republicans are flooding the airwaves with rhetoric condemning any statement against Bush as "inappropriate in a time of war," and "John Kerry is playing politics with national security" – yeah, as though they aren't.

We could go on like this forever. If you are interested in becoming exceptionally annoyed with the lies and half-truths are are becoming this campaign on both sides go to slate.com's doonesbury daily dose and read the line on the top titled "todays mudline" for all the up to date mudslinging in the presidential race.

Some more information on Drinking in Champaign

Today the Champaign bar reviews recieved a much needed overhaul.

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It's official, all good disaster movies have already been made.

Yes, we have had them all. We've enjoyed more than our fair share of movies about volcanoes, earthquakes, terrible storms, insect infestations, and the great “an asteroid is going to hit Earth” genre, all of which came into being around 1998.
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Now, it would appear that all good disasters have been used up.
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That’s right! In case you haven’t heard, Hollywood has created the fantastic, sure to be a blockbuster, eco-thriller, The Day After Tomorrow.

Just when you thought that movie-makers had done it all, they change it up on you, and the “ice age” disaster movie enters the fray. This movie is described as being about:

”A climatologist tries to figure out a way to save the world from abrupt global warming. He must get to his young son in New York, which is being taken over by a new ice age.

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watch the trailer here

As would be the case with any movie with a climatologist as the protagonist, actual climatologists can’t help but voice their opinion on the movie. When will scientists learn that being quoted about how inaccurately a movie depicts the science really just makes them look foolish? Regardless, scientists (and I know this because I am one) get thrilled every time someone shows even the faintest interest in what they are doing, so naturally, this is what the experts are saying:

"The movie exaggerates how quickly climate change can happen. And higher carbon dioxide will not push us into another ice age."-Daniel Shrag, Harvard University oceanographer

"The… scenario the film portrays is scientifically ludicrous – not only in the speed of response but also by linking sea-level rise to extreme cold."-Professor Phil Jones, climatologist at the Climate Research Unit

"The The Day After Tomorrow takes its starting point from science, but ends up telling a dramatic and entertaining science-fiction story."-Professor Mike Hulme, scientist at the Tyndall Centre for Climate Change

Thank you Professor Hulme, I would have never thought Hollywood was capable of something like that until you pointed it out. read more about thrilled scientists here.

E True Hollywood Story!

Sunday night at 9pm the E network will be broadcasting the Jenny McCarthy Hollywood story. Promoted as: "Singled out for fame and failure, this smokin' funny girl kept on laughing.

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The program claims to document the "rise and fall" of this Hollywood star. It will trace her career from playboy playmate, through the failed sitcom "Jenny" and finally to her current role as wife and mother.
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If you are asking why it is that ginandtacos.com cares you need look no further than Jenny McCarthy's mother, whose last name is mike. Look for back issues of In Style magazine to see photographs of mike asleep at Jenny's wedding to John Asher.

Suggested Jenny McCarthy viewing: Baseketball (starring Trey Parker and Matt Stone)

Can Someone Please Explain To Me What The Hell Is Happening in Fallujah.

I don’t claim to be an expert on global politics, and particularly not on military strategy. So, perhaps it is possible that this is why the situation in Fallujah has confused me for the last several weeks.

Lets see if we can figure this out.

November 2003– Three helicopters are shot down killing 25 people

3/31/2004– Four US “security guards” are killed and mutilated

4/5/2004– Heavy fighting is reported in Fallujah, Donald Rumsfeld promises a “methodical effort” to punish those responsible for the killings. 4-8 marines (depending on if you use logical or “pentagon” counting) are killed in what officials refer to as “security and stabilization” activities.

4/7/2004– Situation still not “secure” or “stable.” Eye witness Tony Perry of the Los Angeles Times reports:
"There were platoon-sized groups. They brought in buses, blocked off streets, hit the Marines with counterfire," Perry said. The insurgents also "had anti-aircraft facilities that were shooting at the helicopters."

4/8/2004– Still nothing much has changed, US decides to halt “offensive” operations to talk to Iraqi officials in hope of a cease fire. Apparently the Iraqis didn’t care. Fighting continued, one marine is killed.

4/9/2004– Doctors report 450 dead and 1000 wounded in fighting. Iraqi officials are referring to the United States operation as genocide. Still not much has changed despite constant reassurance that the situation will be calming down soon. In light of the fact that the Iraqis did not seem to pay any attention to the fact that we had declared a cease fire, the United States decides to escalate actions in the area by sending an additional battalion.

To avoid this getting too long, lets skip some of what is essentially more of the same.

4/19/2004– Some agreement is reached. The “coalition” agrees that they will end the siege if the “insurgents” turn in all their heavy weaponry and give themselves up. This does not seem like much of a compromise. The US warns that soon they will have to resume offensive operations.

4/20/2004– Rumsfelt warns of potential new Fallujah offensive. Claiming, “We won’t wait forever.
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4/25/2004– US extends the deadline. U.S. Army spokesman Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmitt:
"if we don't start seeing delivery, we will cease the discussions and start other options," [presumably “other options are ending their theoretical cease fire]

4/27/2004– I guess we are giving it a go again. Warplanes are reported to be dropping bombs on Fallujah.

4/29/2004– After several days of bombing US announces a plan to pull out.

4/30/2004– In a bizarre twist, the Unites States presents the world with its “plan.” US troops will leave Fallujah to be gradually replaced by an Iraqi force led by one of Sadaam Hussein’s former generals who was apparently “carefully chosen.”


So excuse me for not knowing what the hell is happening here. We go in, claim we are going to take back the city.
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After a week of not much changing declare a cease-fire that is largely ignored by everyone. After two weeks of the United States making absurd demands pretty much consisting of “give us the city back and we won’t kill you,” we bomb the hell out of them for two days. Then I guess it seems like to much work and probably too politically costly to stay there, and we choose a plan of gradual withdrawal replacing ourselves with native forces? I see, I swear I have heard this plan somewhere before.
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Anyone who understands what is happening here please leave a comment. Personally I just constantly hear in the news that we have a “plan.” This “plan” turns out to be somewhat akin to someone’s drunken NASCAR watching dad. He asks you to get him a can of Old Milwaukee 50 times because he is too lazy to get off the couch, then he beats the shit out of you, and asks your mom to get it for him.

And Finally….The Mustache Contest

So the day finally came. Well, actually the day finally came on monday; it just took me three days to complete the point by point commentary on the actual competition.

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Now, see the mustache competition in all its horrible glory.
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