On Wednesday evening I had about 90 minutes of sleep. This is rare for me; while I was a terrible insomniac as a kid and teenager, in recent years I've slept like a normal person. One bad night never killed anyone, but suffice it to say that after three consecutive 75 minute lecture classes on Thursday I was…done. This is relevant as a preemptive apology for giving you the quarterly Link Salad post for NPF. Despite having collected a lot of neat things lately I lack the energy to write about any one of them in great detail. So please enjoy, and by all means don't spend Friday working.
1. It was only a matter of time until one of BuzzFeed's billions of pieces of link bait turned out to be interesting.
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And this little write up on "American Parties" in foreign countries did it for me. I find this concept fabulous; apparently the two mandatory features at an American Party are red plastic Solo Cups and…popcorn? Presumably, shitty American music is involved as well. We are rightfully wary of internet journalism about "trends" – what the average NPR correspondent calls a fad sweeping the nation is actually anecdotal evidence from one of their friends – so I'm curious whether this is really a thing, I want to believe it is. And of all the things I'd imagine people around the world would see as symbolic of Americans, red plastic Solo Cups ranked low on the list.
2. An interesting read (from the ancient past: 1994) about an eccentric rich guy who concocted a plan many years ago to replace taxes with thousand-year trusts. And the story ends with the Unitarian Universalists going to court to try to steal his fortune after he died. Typical.
3. Apparently the heir to the throne of the Ottoman Empire lives in New York and is essentially a regular guy. That's an unbeatable cocktail party story, though.
4. Boeing developed an Android phone for intelligence agencies that self-destructs (more accurately, it erases all of its own data) if the phone case is opened. That technology has obvious utility in the world of security clearances and Top Secret information – and I'm guessing it won't be five years before they're including this on every phone so service providers can hold your data hostage.
5. Here's a terrific collection of images of placeholder text that someone forgot to replace in either signage or newspapers / magazines / advertisements / etc. The headline "3 DECK HEADLINE PLEASE" is a little on the nose even for a British newspaper. This reminds me of those old galleries of BSoD (Blue Screen of Death) in public places. Those are a helpful reminder that as long as we build SkyNet with Windows XP humanity is guaranteed to survive.
And now…
Stephanie says:
While doing my masters in England the graduate council of my college threw a 'frat party'. They paid 10 pounds for a pack of red solo cups. There was a keg. People were encouraged to wear college-related paraphernalia. It was the first time I played beer pong.
Doing a PhD in America now, I still don't understand the red cups. Why not normal coloured cups? Why not plastic resuable cups? Why, in general, are people so happy to eat off paper plates?
J. Dryden says:
This post is an instance of why Ed will always be a quiet hero of mine. If I were an exhausted as he clearly is, my post–if I even bothered with one–would be "Can't write–Sleep now." And bam, out, done. Ed takes the time to find links, introduce/justify them, *and* search/paste an appropriate Simpsons image. *That* is a level of professional commitment I will never know.
Sarah says:
Aren't the red cups like a beer pong thing for college frat parties? They aren't that far off with that red cup obsession.
It's partly apathy and partly one less thing to have to clean up after a big party. Also paper plates don't get broken when they're dropped. No need to worry about the good china, or the everyday china, getting ruined, and no one gets hurt stepping on a piece of broken ceramic. (You have to bear in mind that folks in the US can be pretty litigious and/or paranoid about litigation, and this is an incentive to do what they can to avoid liability.)
Major Kong says:
90 minutes of sleep?
Welcome to my world.
c u n d gulag says:
The red cups may truly be symbolic of America and our society:
They're plastic, so they're made from petroleum by-products.
They cheap.
They don't last long.
They're disposable.
They're not bio-degradable.
And they're not made in America.
How much more American can anything get?
Anonymouse says:
There is also a country music song singing the praises of the red Solo cup (Solo is a brand name) and how the drunken singer thinks the cup is his best friend. This has made the red plastic cup very popular in certain circles. Why not use heavy plastic washable cups? Because the conservative whackadoodle segment of American society considers reuse and recycling to be akin to Satanism.
Temporary Festive Zone says:
How many glasses do you own? That's the limit of how many people you can have drinking at your place unless you get some short-term extra equipment. A sack of cups is cheaper than catering supply.
Anyway, the thing about the Unitarians is more interesting. First really unfavorable thing I think I've ever heard about that church.
Robert says:
Regarding the Osman heir, I read about the last Caliph recently. He was elected to the position by the Turkish national assembly (!) despite the sultanate having been abolished, and died in Paris the day the Allies liberated it. Ataturk thought little of him.
The Unitarian story reminded me of a SF short story I read, something like "Jimmy Jones's Dollar". A man opens a savings account and wills it to his nth generation descendant. Due to compound interest, it will represent a plurality of all the money in existence at the time, making said descendant the wealthiest human in history. Alas, there is a glitch, and the descent fails in the n-1 generation. The account is claimed by the government, and a socialist utopia results.
Xynzee says:
90mins sleep? What is this sleep of which you speak?
500-1000yrs? He certainly bends the concept of optimism to new dimensions. At the current rate the US will unlikely make the next 30.p The hoops that people go through to avoid honest work and/or paying taxes. Far out!
To paraphrase Mark Driscoll: just pay your taxes. Don't come to me with some weird theory you found on the internet, the law says, "pay your taxes" so pay your taxes.
mothra says:
Here is Solo's mission statement:
Solo will be the company that enriches meal occasions and simplifies life with single-use products that our customers and their customers see as indispensable
I don't think I've read anything more American in my life. But cund gulag, I those red Solo cups are made in the good old USA. And in my city they are recyclable. So there's that. I will say that when I worked in Europe as a tour guide, almost every European I talked to for any length of time would always ask me if I really missed pancakes. Apparently Europeans think Americans eat pancakes for breakfast every day. Or at least the ones I met thought that.
c u n d gulag says:
Ed,
Try some melatonin. It works for me.
Therese says:
One-button wipes for smartphones have been around for a long while. I recall the foreign Free Tibet activists sporting them in Beijing at the 2008 Olympics.
Never heard of these "American parties". American food in East Asia tends to imply fast food/junk food — pancakes, cold sugar cereal, hot dogs, sandwiches, hamburgers, popcorn, fried potatoes of all sorts — and "American vegetables" implies a medley of (usually frozen) corn, peas, and carrots. Coincides well with what my family used to denigrate as "American food" in Louisiana as a child. I had to look up Solo cups; I've only ever seen them in film, certainly not abroad. (Carnival throw cups were the norm in my part of Louisiana, otherwise Dixie cups.)
DavidR says:
"Because the conservative whackadoodle segment of American society considers reuse and recycling to be akin to Satanism."
Heh…. back in college, I actually bought red Solo cups (do they even come in other colors?) and reused them/re-washed them til they fell apart. A pack lasted me the better part of a year.
Elle says:
Red solo cups are definitely something I think of as American, because they're ubiquitous in TV and films. They're particularly noticeable in TV and films that is set in high school or college, although a considerable number of fictional grownups seem to use them also. (My local off-license lends glasses to people who buy party booze in their store, and I've never gone to a party in my life post-kindergarten and been served anything to drink in a paper cup.)
Other iconic things I associate with American school / university:
1) Timetables that are different from other people's. Until the last two years of high school, with a few minor variations, I had the same classes as all of the other people with whom I had registration (homeroom).
2) Composition notebooks with the marbled covers.
3) Lockers. We had little cupboards for our books and lab coats at my high school. They didn't lock.
4) Writing with a pencil (usually yellow). My high school required all of its students to do all of their work using a fountain pen.
5) Cheerleaders / pep rallies / "school spirit". I still find this baffling.
6) Cafeterias in which people sit in clearly defined social groupings marked by external signs in the form of hairstyle or dress.
7) People going to college without any idea of what they're going to study, and doing a lot of "Intro to…" courses.
8) Sororities and fraternities.
Elle says:
@DavidR
The only reason I think so is that some TV plots rest on their being one colour of cups for underagers not drinking alcohol, and another colour for people who are appropriately aged.
Elle says:
I've just realised I missed "keg stands" and "beer pong" off the above list.
Sarah says:
Yes. Also, if you think the reason might be an excess of caffeine, Rutaesomn flushes that from your system.
Xynzee says:
@DavidR: clear, yellow and blue.
@Therese: have never heard of a carnival cup. Regional/local brand anyone?
Dixie historically were usually waxed or unwaxed paper and a 4-6oz range. Ideal as a disposable cup for use with drinking fountains or water coolers. Most notable use was for young children for juice or at a children's party.
Solo otoh are in a 12oz range—and what also comes in 12oz?—and are that thin walled kind of plastic.
Anonymouse says:
@Elle: "5) Cheerleaders / pep rallies / "school spirit". I still find this baffling."
That's popular in the sports-uber-alles high school culture, where by-gawd, the entire school body MUST gather to revere the all-holy football players (genuflect when you say that) or occasionally basketball players, provided the basketball team's makeup is sufficiently white. Cheerleading started out to make sure the football players felt sufficiently revered and worshipped. The school where I started high school couldn't have cared less about sports; the one where I finished would suspend any student who skipped the mandatory pep rallies.
DavidR says:
@ Elle:
" some TV plots rest on their being one colour of cups for underagers not drinking alcohol, and another colour for people who are appropriately aged."
I'm not sure I've seen this in American television. Can you give me an example
Therese says:
@Xynzee: Carnival is what some people call Mardi Gras, the final day of Carnival. Krewes throw plastic cups printed with the year's theme during parades. Most Southeast LAians will have boxes of stacked cups in their homes. Excellent for use as go cups for alcohol, or planting herbes.
Xynzee says:
@Therese: Ah! That Carnivale. Thanks.
Major Kong says:
Try some melatonin. It works for me.
I tried it a few times.
It gave me even weirder dreams than I normally have, so I had to stop taking it.
Elle says:
@DavidR
Veronica Mars 3.09 Spit and Eggs.
r. clayton says:
And of all the things I'd imagine people around the world would see as symbolic of Americans, red plastic Solo Cups ranked low on the list.
Slate (of course) can help you with that.
bidrec says:
Re: the Spanish girl and popcorn; I was stationed in Spain some thirty years ago. The Spanish did not eat corn considering it food for livestock. A "tortilla" is an omelette. The American vending machines on base had the usual American candy bars and one Spanish novelty with both a Spanish and English name: in Spanish. "Loco Americano", and, in English. "Crazy Corn". It was roasted corn that you could break your teeth on.