RESOLVED: CALLING ONE'S BLUFF

This is the time of year in which we all commit ourselves to losing weight, quitting smoking, writing the great American novel, being a better husband, etc. It's cute how seriously we take ourselves as we pledge to do shit that, really, we know we're not going to do. For most people this is a painless process of pledging, forgetting, and then waiting 12 months to repeat the process. Well, I wrote mine down. Some of you did too, here or elsewhere. How did you do?

I think I accomplished my overarching goal, which was to avoid having a year as bad as 2007.

Mission accomplished, Ed. More specifically, though, I laid out a series of goals which culminated in various levels of success and failure. My five resolutions were as follows:

  • 1. Continue to make this blog worthwhile

    Well, I continue to put more effort than I should into this unpaid, unproductive endeavor and the hits keep going up. Mission accomplished.

  • 2. Finishing the dissertation

    I didn't finish, but I did make a substantial amount of progress. So this is a fail but not a total loss.

  • 3. Make progress on one of the book projects

    Yeah, not so much. I find that between this site, the work I get paid to do, and my academic work I don't have a lot of additional energy.

  • 4. Fix broken and strained relationships

    Mixed bag. I am happy to have repaired most of the damage with my significant other. Beyond that I think this is a qualified fail. I put effort into fixing friendships, which is in keeping with the resolution, but it didn't lead to great results. The fact is that there's only so much one person can do. The other party can't be forced or coerced into reciprocating, and I'm not about to resort to begging. Time to let it go, I guess.

  • 5. Staying healthy and being social

    Win. No exotic illnesses and I left my house a lot. I'm even getting slightly better at communicating with other human beings, although my inability to converse about "normal" things isn't getting any better.

    I did get fat, though.

    I can live with these results. Could have been better, could have been worse. So I can put myself under the microscope again in 364 days, here is the list for 2009:

  • No, really. Finish the goddamn dissertation. It won't get me a job in this market, but at least I'll be unemployed with a fancy degree.
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    And for the first time in 30 years I will actually have accomplished something.

  • Cut the cord with people who aren't interested in maintaining relationships with me.
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    It's harmful to one's self-esteem to make a continued effort to engage people who aren't receptive. If you don't care, I don't care. If it's not important to you, I can't let it continue to be important to me.

  • Lose weight. Cliched, but practical. I've gotten too fat for a substantial portion of my wardrobe and I can't afford to buy a new one. This cannot stand. I'm 20 pounds heavier and twice as poor as when I started grad school.

    People who can't afford new clothes should stay in the ones they have.

    I'll keep it simple this year and leave it at that. You?

  • 4 thoughts on “RESOLVED: CALLING ONE'S BLUFF”

    • I'm grateful for your #1 from 2008 (though my first scan of the link didn't reveal it.)

      And I don't "do" New Year's Resolutions. Don't get me wrong…I do have a set of time-constrained goals. (And they arise from a set of 6 specified "values", one which your 2008 "be more social" might fit into.)

      In 2008, I wanted to get a handle on my parents' assets, liabilities, and personal interests before either of them died or was unable to express that. (Fail: Dad died. Mom no longer remembers her own name. And I'm still guessing at a lot of this stuff.)

      In 2008, I wanted to participate in NaNoWriMo. Fail: didn't even start.

      In 2008, I wanted to help my son be more successful in social groups, without being the "alpha". Success! (Well, maybe it wasn't really my success, but I'm happy, anyway.)

      In 2008, I wanted to expand the family. Despite our efforts, that's not likely to happen.

      Really, I just hope for a 2009 that lets me forget about 2008.

      Projects currently underway (to be completed in 2009):
      1) Re-organizing investments so that I can still pay for Mom's care. [going well]
      2) EBay a bunch of junk I have around the house. If I can persuade my wife to go along, maybe I'll even be able to get my car in the garage.
      3) Keep my job. I'm afraid that, in 2009, this is going to be tough for many, many people. Doesn't look like it will be for me, but still.
      4) Self-training on radio talk show "hosting", combined with program plan together with my Toastmasters mentor.
      5) Toastmasters DTM

    • In 2008, I finished one graduate degree and started another in a program I didn't think I had a chance in hell of getting into. Having survived as a poor man for nearly 3 years now, I feel qualified to continue doing it for at least another five.

      This year, I'd like to do a better job of policing my cynicism. It's really gotten out of control. Like the flipping over of cars and setting them aflame, raping and pillaging, kicking puppies kind of out of control. I really need to get a handle on that.

    • 1. Continue to make this blog worthwhile

      Let's take this one into 2009 as well, I get more lulz here daily than Palin gave me all year.

      As far as the dissertation, keep stalling, post-doc work is the only job that pays worse than grad. student work.

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