DEFENDING THE WORLD FROM YELLOWCAKE

Well, to absolutely no one's surprise, the DPRK is now nukeular. Good thing we've spent the last 3 years pissing away our resources and credibility in Iraq. After all, we had some very reliable Russian intelligence (which turned out to be forged, of course) indicating that they were trying to buy low-grade enriched uraniaum from the Sudan. And aluminum tubes. TUBES, people. Tubes. That's some serious shit.

That obviously posed a much more serious threat than North Korea's real, honest-to-god nuclear weapons program at Yongbon, the existence of which was confirmed during Clinton's first term.

For the record, I hope you're all aware that North Korean nuclear weapons pose no direct threat to the United States. That is, they don't have the capability to deliver them to the lower 48. The Nodong-2 (Ahahaha. No dong. Whee.) is a modified Scud missile, meaning it's about as accurate as a medieval catapult and has barely as much range. The Taepodong-2 is three-stage and has theoretical range to hit the US, but it's yet to experience a successful test. So North Korean ballistic missile technology is just about to the point American technology reached in 1948. Good work, retards.

So the "threat" to the United States is minimal.
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But Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, and American soil in the Pacific rim….that's another story altogether. They might want to stock up on SPF 100,000 sunblock.
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Bravo, George. Thanks for being officially asleep at the switch on this one.