Here is just a short list of some things I would prefer to watching Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon "act" (the term must be used loosely with them) out the life story of Johnny Cash:
1. Run my balls up and down a cheese grater repeatedly
2. Drink a bucket of vomit (not mine)
3. Conduct sex education sessions at group homes for the profoundly retarded
4. Watch Battlefield:Earth in its entirety. Twice.
5. Memorize pi to 1500 places
6. Get hooked on heroin and share needles with junkies at an AIDS hospice
7. Give Ving Rhames a thorough rimjob
8. Sit through an entire live performance of the White Stripes
9. Go freegan
10. Invest my life savings in General Motors