IN THE FUTURE, EVEN THE AIR WILL BE FOR SALE

And not only will everything be for sale, it will all be for sale on eBay.

The newest fad on my favorite ol' lawless economic free-fire zone is selling one's name (search "change name" to yield dozens of auctions). Yes, just in case selling blood is too dignified for some of our white trash, the option to let a winning eBay bidder legally change your name (or, for less money, your middle name) exists.

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Yes, this is an actual seller. The winning business will use him to target area retards.

In the case of one man, he is auctioning off the family name….and a leading bidder was his brother, who wanted to keep the family name intact. I really think that this is how all family disputes will be settled in the future.

To show just how delusional "clever" these folks are, note how many auctions pitch this to potential bidders as a great advertising opportunity. OK. Hold on.

First of all, how much advertising benefit could there honestly be from changing some hillbilly's name from Cletus Johnson to AutoZone Johnson? It's not like the bidder is getting a chance to re-name David Letterman. These are people whose names appear on lawsuits and paternity tests more than in newspapers (police blotters and "missed connections" ads excluded). Secondly, is this desperation cash-raising move really worth the chance that someone is going to bid and change your name to Penis Loving Cum-Dumpster?

This is truly the economic decision made by someone who has so completely given up hope on having a future – let alone a good one – that such potential costs are not considered.