I would kill to be clever enough to make this shit up. But I can't, so please read this carefully with the reassuring knowledge that it is not some horrible, horrible dream.
On October 6, Sen. Charles Grassley (R-IA) quoted an Associated Press story on his website under the title "Tax Cutter in Chief." What a snappy title! Here's a quick excerpt.
Bush signs Tax Relief Act
By DAVID PITT Associated Press Writer
The Associated Press
DES MOINES, Iowa
Bush introduced Mike and Sharla Hintz, a couple from Clive, whom he said benefited from his tax plan. Last year, because of the enhanced the child tax credit, they received an extra $1,600 in their tax refund, Bush said. With other tax cuts in the bill, they saved $2,800 on their income taxes.
Mike Hintz, a First Assembly of God youth pastor, said the tax cuts also gave him additional money to use for health care. He said he supports Bush's values. "The American people are starting to see what kind of leader President Bush is. People know where he stands," he said.
"Where we are in this world, with not just the war on terror, but with the war with our culture that's going on, I think we need a man that is going to be in the White House like President Bush, that's going to stand by what he believes."
Pretty standard Happy Horseshit press release, right? Some small-town pastor at a Protestant church supports Bush. Not exactly Pulitzer material. Fast forward to December 7:
Des Moines youth pastor is charged with the sexual exploitation of a child.
"KCCI learned that the married father of four recently turned himself in to Johnston police. Rev. Mike Hintz was fired from the First Assembly of God Church, located at 2725 Merle Hay Road, on Oct. 30. Hintz was the youth pastor there for three years. Police said he started an affair with a 17-year-old in the church youth group this spring."
I'm telling you, people. The louder they yell and the harder they thump the Bible, the more they're hiding. I can only hope and pray that the 17 year old is male. Because really, that would just be the trifecta of conservative hypocrisy: adulterous, homosexual statutory rape.