MY EXCUSE, LET ME SHOW YOU IT

I'm very pressed for time today, so bear with me.

You have probably already seen this story from a week or two ago about David Jungerman, the brilliant Missouri farmer who put up a billboard on his property stating "Are you a Producer or Parasite? Democrats – Party of the Parasites." Thirty seconds of public records searching later, it was revealed that Mr. Jungerman has received well over $1,000,000 in farm subsidy checks since 1995. Cue the sad trombone.

Crop subsidies are different, he said. When crop prices dip below a certain point, the federal government makes up the difference with a subsidy payment.

“That’s just my money coming back to me,” Jungerman, 72, said Monday. “I pay a lot in taxes. I’m not a parasite."

Ah. Well now it is clear that you are not a hypocrite.

Assuming you've heard this story already, your assignment for today is to read the comments from the KC Star (the nearest major media outlet, and thus the one giving this story the most time).

It's obvious that this story has snark value on its face – Ha ha, here's another totally hypocritical old teabagger – but just look at the number of people defending him and the intense intellectual contortions in which they must engage to do so (unsuccessfully).
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Yes, the number of people criticizing him outnumbers those defending him. But the idea that anyone would fail to understand why this person is an idiot is troubling, let alone 30 to 40 percent of the comments.

This, to use an overused phrase, is what is wrong with America.
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The country, not to mention Congress, is just riddled with people like this. Anything the government does that benefits me is necessary and right. Anything the government does that does not benefit me is pork, waste, unconstitutional, and/or cause to hoard firearms and threaten armed revolution. The logic really is that simple, which is to say it really is that stupid.
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That, in 25 words or one picture of an idiot from Missouri, is what ails us. There is no way for our politics to make sense if any non-negligible portion of the voting public holds beliefs this contradictory and flat-out stupid.

(BONUS: "He’s a staunch believer in personal responsibility. In 1990, he and his daughter confronted four teens they caught fishing in a pond on their Raytown land. The boys called them names and threatened them, Jungerman said, and one spit on Jungerman’s daughter. Jungerman pulled a snub-nosed .38-caliber and held them until police arrived." Awesome!)

34 thoughts on “MY EXCUSE, LET ME SHOW YOU IT”

  • duck-billed placelot says:

    People used to feel shame in this country, right? It was a legitimate thing that happened? Like for things other than having sex?

    The cost of being dishonorable is just too low now. Or maybe it always was, and I'm just growing up. Ick.

  • HoosierPoli says:

    I think calling Matt Ridley a "free market warrior" is oversimplifying things a bit, he is (or at least was) a very illuminating writer about evolutionary and genetics-related subjects.

    Let's not forget the absolute classic clip from Glenn Beck, pompous unself-aware conservative tard #45 saying "I've been poor, I've been on food stamps…nobody every helped ME out".

  • I liked the bit where he says "it's my money coming back to me" like the taxes he pays don't go for anything but paying for things HE needs. Same argument so many use for claiming they shouldn't have to pay for school taxes: "I don't have any kids in school!"

  • As your resident a-hole libertarian-conservative, I agree that the crop subs thing exposes all kinds of hypocrisy. The king of it these days is ethanol. It turns Rs in the corn belt into raving parasites over a stupid negative energy balance boondoggle.

    The private property issue is different. You trespass on my land and appropriate some of it for your own use, we ARE going to investigate it.

    Whether or not firearms and the Law are involved depends on conditions on the ground. The jeering disrespect for such rights here is something I expect as a matter of course, of course!

    //bb

  • I agree bb..that tresspass thing sounded like "there's 2 sides to every story" thing. It might have been an innocent ole' fishing hole to most people but the fact is…it was HIS fishing hole.

  • I'm surprised he didn't shoot them each in the leg and leave them there for the cops. It would've provided an excellent lesson for the daughter concerning the efficient use of time. It would also have been simpler than standing there pointing a weapon at a bunch of dirty fish rapists while waiting for Barney Fife to show up and engage in some serious bud-nipping action.

  • displaced Capitalist says:

    Reminds me of that Blogger who said every productive member of society should "Go Galt."

    Then he promptly put a notice on his blog that he was looking for a job.

  • This is just another flavor of the classic "Down with the Gub'Mint, HOW DARE YOU SAY BAD THINGS ABOUT THE ARMY" paradox in the Republican playbook.

    The Gub'mint is an evil, totalitarian dictatorship full of lies and corruption that can't do anything right, ever. The military — an arm of that very same Gub'mint — is full of pure, unspoiled heroes who can do no wrong, ever.

    This, of course, does not make any sense to a person with a properly-functioning brain. It is patently ridiculous to assert that there exists some subset of the government that is completely insulated from the supposed hive of greed, deceit, and corruption. At the very least, even assuming that each and every last member of the military had some kind of magic anti-corruption forcefield, the fact still remains that they take their orders directly from the branches of Gub'mint that are declared to be corrupt and untrustworthy.

    This does not make sense. But it sure is effective to play on the nationalist tendencies of ignorant hicks by claiming that it does. The paradox of a man taking farm subsidies and complaining about "parasites" is the exact same as this, as is that hiliarious old chestnut, "Get the Gub'mint out of my medicare!".

    The greatest trick the American Right ever pulled off was convincing the proletariat that it was in their best interest to root for the burgoise.

  • Monkey Business says:

    "Anything the government does that benefits me is necessary and right. Anything the government does that does not benefit me is pork, waste, unconstitutional, and/or cause to hoard firearms and threaten armed revolution."

    So, when is the GOP making this their official motto?

  • Paul W. Luscher says:

    To repeat: the the baseline of all Repbub/right-wing philosophy is "It's all about me." (Any Rand really IS their God) What is bad, bad, bad if lefties (supposedly) do it is IOKIYAR.

    Sex? Bad if Clinton did it, but OK if Schwarzenegger engaged in gang-bangs (as he has bragged about). Drugs? again, BAD if Clinton did it (but didn't inhale), but OK if Schwarzenegger did it (and was caught on film doing it).

    So….welfare? Bad if given to the unemployed and poor, but A-OK for corporations and fat-ass farmers like Mr Jungerman.

    Hey, that's not hypocrisy…that's just looking at things in the right perspective.

  • Paul W. Luscher says:

    Oh yeah, and pulling a gun on 14-year old fishing scofflaws: What manliness! What courage!! What steely grit in the face of certain danger!!!

  • Aslan Maskhadov says:

    BB you do realize that without government, your "private property" rights would be limited to the amount of ammunition you have, right?

  • Berke Breathed covered this 30 years ago in Bloom County. Opus became a farmer and had to say where Opus had to say something like levae me alone you flat footed government goombahs followed by where's my government subsidy check back-to-back without laughing

  • @ Aslan Maskhadov

    Something tells me he might be okay with that…or maybe not.

    At least every minarchist/"anarcho"-capitalist I have ever interacted with is fine with that scenario and sees no problem with the de facto state(s) created by private defense corporations in Libertopia.

    Sorry for the tangent but it kind of plays into the cognitive dissonance being discussed here.

  • Aslan Maskhadov says:

    They are fine with it because some part of their brain knows it will not happen in reality. It's like how I'm fine with alien invasion ala Independence Day. Besides, everyone knows that an alien ship can be disabled via an Apple computer.

  • @hoosier – Sure, his first couple of books were well received, but lately Ridley has devolved into a blatant and unapologetic felator of market fundies. His latest book is about how markets have ruled throughout history, bringing happiness and lollies to everyone, while regulation of any kind has always resulted in famine, flood and genital warts.

    While I acknowledge that solid, rigorous scientific study and market worship seem like they should be mutually exclusive, this is very apparently not the case with Dr. Ridley. Mentioning him without mentioning his scientific works is like mentioning Newt Gingrich without pointing out that he writes alternative history novels. Irrelevant, and not very interesting.

    I should also point out that Ridley also manages to juggle being both a complete dick, and a total asshole. The man is talented.

  • Paul:

    Paper thin there on Arnold. The Rs drummed him out of the corps a long time ago. Conservatives never really warmed up to him. Same reason some of us look funny at Mary Matlin. The cognitive dissonance is just too much.

    Aslan:

    Being an L-C is \= ANARCHIST. That comes more from your side of the aisle.

    Minimal Government is G.R.T. NO Governnment.

    Besides my help in the matter would come from Barney not some G-man.

    //bb

  • It's not the story so much as your tone. That, coupled with the way you characterize anyone not sharing your view as firearm hoarding revolutionaries. I love the people's aremy artwork you've co-opted as a back drop. Appropriate.

  • Ed: Please, PLEASE Dance your ph.D.!!!

    Also bb – you have to realize how irresponsible it is for them to pull guns on people? They could have called the policewithout the guns (in fact they may have dialed the phone more easily) and being that this is small-town Missouri I'm sure they would have been able to identify the kids had they left after the police had been summoned.

  • Jennifer:

    Without further info I don't know. You may be correct in this instance, but my bias is that you would come up w/ a reason to NEVER have a firearm at the ready for any eventuality.

    I have done your thought experiment in Real Life ™ It is easier to unholster a gun than press 911 (even if 911 is on speedial) at least on my flip phone.

    When you are trespassing on my land, especially when you get uppity (reported spitting etc. and I'm sure something was said about somebody's parentage) I may, in general, be less than patient with you.

    However, being armed imparts a certain responsibility and I have found a certain tolerance for puerile horsesh*t like that from our young "friends."

    So to recap, I probably wouldn't have drawn down on those fine young gentlemen even in the face of the reported provocation unless they advanced on my position after the spitting and them being warned. The flip phone would been employed.

    //bb

  • Great post. You are right, of course. I see it a lot down here in Mississippi. People want what they can get from the government and then want to deny that same right to others. There's just no better way to put it than what you did and it is the bottom line here. Too bad solutions aren't as obvious as their stupidity.

  • I have no doubt that this guy is indeed a moron. Furthermore, I support a generous welfare state for ethical and economic reasons. That said, while I think that a good number of pejorative terms would be appropriate for Mr. Jungerman, I don't think it's inherently hypocritical to favor price subsidies while opposing welfare. They're not equivalent. Providing price support to producers in an industry characterized by price instability isn't the same as providing welfare benefits for those seeking employment. I think that welfare benefits are necessary, and justifiable on their own terms, and that Mr. Jungerman is wrong in opposing them, but that position doesn't inherently make him a hypocrite. I write this not because I have any sympathy for the guy, but because I think that the argument that "oh, he's a hypocrite because he condemns others for doing exactly what he's doing" is an easy way out, because it's so easy to refute.

  • The use of firearms to defend one's life, family and property is as American as apple pie. The farm subsidy/welfare hypocrisy argument can be pulled in several directions, as noted above. That Mr. Farmtreprenuer is probably thinking he is 'better' than 'those people' is more realistic, and more in line with the phony deluded not-really-upper- 1%-income-bracket-but-think-I-should-be mindset. You know, assholes.

  • I am very unhappy with Mr. Jungerman. It is, after all, one of my contributions to political thought to classify people into the categories of "producer" and "parasite." As is typical of today's teabaggers, he gets it backwards.

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