Hey, I spend a lot of time in the classroom, so when I see a column entitled "Our Kids Deserve Balance in the Classroom" I perk up like an chemically stimulated prairie dog. All along I have been under the impression that Your Kids deserved to be given accurate information and taught how to process it. How wrong was I. It turns out that what kids really deserve is "balance"! You know, two sides to every story. Teach the Controversy.tm But I doubt that Steve Mroczkiewicz – scholar at the Independent Women's Foundation project Balanced Education for Everyone – would raise such an issue lightly; he's a goddamn expert on Balance. Move over, Flying Wallendas. Let's discover how Unbalanced our schools are with the ultimate goal of Balancing them like the scales of justice.
This FJM is made possible through a generous grant from the Steve, Shut The Fuck Up Foundation. SSTFUF: A Better Tomorrow is Possible if Steve Shuts His Piehole Today.tm
We as parents have a lot on our minds these days. Too many of us are out of work and struggling to pay the bills. While trying to pay our mortgage and prepare for retirement, we are also trying to save to help our kids go to college. Of course, we are also concerned about the quality of our children's schools, though few have the time to follow closely what goes on in those classrooms each day.
OK, Steve isn't a professional writer. This much will be abundantly clear. Regardless, there's something inherently dangerous about opening anything other than a letter to the Penthouse Forums with this many industrial strength platitudes. And don't worry, parents who lack the time to follow what goes on in the classroom each day – Steve's on it.
As a father of six—five of whom still attend Attica, Indiana public schools
Remember this. It's going to be relevant in a minute.
I know first-hand the difficulty of keeping up with all the responsibilities that parents face. Yet I also know how important it is to remain engaged in our children's schools to make sure that they get the education they need and deserve.
This passage was nominated for the 2010 Award for Redundancy Award of 2010.
It has been more than a month since Earth Day, and most of our children are finishing their studies for the year. One area that I would encourage all parents to pay extra attention to is what's happening at your school regarding climate change education. Ideally, it is supposed to encourage students to consider the importance of preserving our natural resources. Unfortunately, too often it's used as a platform to push a misleading, ideological brand of environmentalism.
Ideally…according to whom? This sounds an awful lot like a segue into the classic "My kids are not being told that my beliefs are correct, so it's time to change what they're taught" argument.
I’m a Ph.D. scientist
And yet you can't figure out how condoms work, according to the earlier admission.
I’m a Ph.D. scientist and work as a Field Research Scientist for a global crop protection company, so I have a special interest in how my kids are taught the subject.
Great. You have a biology Ph.D., proving that you have mastered titration and whatnot (I don't know if titration is relevant to what biologists do, but it's one of the most phonetically pleasing hard science-y words I know). This makes you an expert on many things, including global warming.
I also have a Ph.D., Steve, so when I get done writing this I'm going to draw up architectural blueprints for a skyscraper and invent a new state of matter.
To me, teaching science properly means presenting all sides of scientific theories and helping kids develop their own critical thinking skills.
Teaching Science Properly by Steve Mroczkiewicz is apparently the least useful book ever written. It receives serious competition for that honor only from The Encyclopedia of Phrenology, Modern British Dentistry: A Practical Guide, and On Diplomacy by Ariel Sharon.
Steve, teaching science properly means presenting the "sides of scientific theories" that are either correct or have evidence to support them. Not "all" sides. We can, you know, skip the ones that are wrong or utterly devoid of merit. When we teach the shape of the planet, we generally do not give Round and Flat equal time.
Regrettably, it seems that too many in our public education system see their role differently.
Strangely and regrettably, most teachers don't see the value in teaching unsupported crackpot theories or industry-funded denialist claims. Baffling.
I first became concerned about how my children's school was teaching global warming last year when a group of teachers orchestrated a school-wide showing of An Inconvenient Truth during class in celebration of Earth Day.
They showed a multi-multi-award winning documentary by the former Vice President in a public school? My god. What country do we live in?
I was alarmed that parents weren't even able to pull their kids from this assignment (fortunately, with some work, I eventually got that policy changed).
Ooh, goodie. We're playing "I was alarmed by…" I love this game. OK Steve, I was alarmed by the suggestion that parents – parents who might be, and often are, dumber than a bag of hammers – should be able to decide what their kids are and are not exposed to.
OK, your turn.
The problem isn't just that the school shows An Inconvenient Truth, a movie found by a judge to be riddled with serious scientific errors and which grossly exaggerates the potential damage of man-made global warming. It also fails to provide any counterweight to this environmentalist propaganda.
Aww, I thought we were playing. Anyway, Steve, no judge accused the film of scientific errors or "gross" exaggerations. A British judge in a civil trial agreed with an attorney's claim that the film exaggerates the potential damage of human-induced climate change – which is a pretty strange argument, by the way, given that both the judge's and the filmmaker's exercises are inherently speculative. But like any documentary, I won't argue that the film in question is strongly argued and probably includes some exaggerations by zealous True Believers. Documentaries are never "fair."
Schools do have options. For more than a year now, I've been trying to get another film, Not Evil, Just Wrong, shown in our school to provide some balance.
Awesome. Schools have options, like showing a straight-to-video piece of shit (funded by a wealthy Irish nutcase) that repackages every tired global warming denialism argument of the past 30 years. Do you understand how bad a movie has to be before it can't secure a theatrical release? For christ's sake, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed opened on 1000 screens and it was so bad that most people who paid to see it shot themselves.
Maybe part of the problem is that the film begins with the tale of how hysterical environmentalists got DDT banned and caused 40 million people to die of mosquito-borne illnesses – ah, the perils of scientific Chicken Little-ism – which is a great point except that DDT is still used to kill mosquitoes and always has been. And it's uphill from there!
Not Evil, Just Wrong thoroughly reviews the flawed science of global warming, specifically addressing the many errors and gross exaggerations in An Inconvenient Truth. Our children deserve to hear this information so they don't believe that there's only one truth about this important issue.
Read that again. "…so they don't believe that there's only one truth about this important issue." Our goal, of course, is to have them believe that there are many, equally valid "truths" about important issues! Why, that just sounds great. What a great world we would live in if everyone thought that opposing sides of objective issues were equally valid.
Unfortunately, getting balance into my children's school has been an uphill battle. I’ve spoken to teachers, the principal, the superintendent and the school board. I’ve loaned copies of the film so teachers could see it and make an informed decision.
Are you getting the sense that Steve is "That Guy" in his school district? The one who harasses the administrators to an extent that verges on stalking and who rises at every board meeting to deliver the same harangue about Communist water fluoridation or free energy suppression or Noah's Ark or whatever his idiotic pet issue happens to be? I bet he's quite popular in his community.
Yet only two teachers in the whole school bothered to view the film, and none of them would show it.
Shocking.
I made my case publicly during the open session of a school board meeting.
I bet you did, Cubby.
The only result was that a group of teachers publicly complained to the board for giving me a hearing.
Well that could mean a few things. You've been at this for a full year, so let's assume they understand your argument. Either they are closed-minded, ideologically narrow bigots hell-bent on suppressing your Truth, or your argument is entirely without merit and no amount of explanation is sufficient to make you understand that.
Most recently, the superintendent declared Not Evil, Just Wrong isn’t suitable because it lacks the endorsement of the National Earth Day Foundation. You can see what I’m up against.
I more clearly see what the school district is up against, but yeah, I feel for you. Going up against reality and facts is hard.
This isn’t just ignorance of the science behind climate change, this is an ideological position. I will continue to fight for our students to be taught rather than indoctrinated.
Steve, your point of view as expressed here makes clear that you loathe indoctrination. You just have the very reasonable and open-minded view that your children should only be taught what you want them to be taught irrespective of its accuracy.
I haven't been able to change the curriculum so far, but I have succeeded in raising awareness of the problem.
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I would urge other parent to do the same.
"No one is listening to me. It's lonely here at the helm of the USS Batshit. I need 30 stout men for a voyage to where there be dragons."
Ask questions about how global warming is being presented in your school. Find out if movies like An Inconvenient Truth are being used on Earth Day or as pillars of the science curriculum. Make sure that your kids are hearing the other side of the story.
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(The one with no evidence to support it.)
We should encourage our schools and teachers to address this imbalance during the summer break.
Once again Steve shows his keen understanding of reality by stressing that the best time to get the attention of educators is during the summer.
I realize many of us are busy, but our children's education starts at home. You shouldn't trust that your local school is providing the balanced education your children deserve.
"Just homeschool your kids already. That's the only way to keep them Pure of influences other than the voices in Mom and Dad's head. Isn't it about time you took dictatorial control of every piece of information that reaches your child? How else can we ensure that they will grow up creationist, heavily armed, and utterly unable to function socially?"
Thanks Steve, whoever the hell you are, for taking the idea of scientific inquiry out behind an abandoned warehouse and fingering it. I can think of no one I'd rather have in control of the future of our educational system. Being lectured on objectivity and balance by Steve Mroczkiewicz is like having Bible study with the Pope himself.
Boski says:
God if only the Ozzie could pencil your posts into the line-up card this season would not be the BP Oil spill it is has been.
Magnificent as always sir.
Ursula says:
I appreciate your cogent analysis of this article, but
"for taking the idea of scientific inquiry out behind an abandoned warehouse and fingering it."
This kind of comment is a little disturbing. It clearly indicates that you think that being fingered is some kind of degrading exercise. I assume that you and your fiance enjoy this kind of activity, as anyone either female or in a relationship with someone female would enjoy. I know you're fond of using sexual metaphors to indicate that something is being ruined, but we actual cocksuckers who like getting fingered are finding it a bit old at this point.
miss itchy says:
heh ah world, where would you be without earnest nutjobs to again point out that Idiocracy just might be a documentary from the future?!
;-)
miss itchy x
ZenPoseur says:
When this guy wrote that he's in crop protection, did anyone imagine him sauntering up to a stalk of corn and saying, "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse"?
So… just me, then?
Mark says:
For some reason I imagine this guy watering his crops with Brawndo…. It's got what plants crave!
Jimcat says:
"Crop protection" makes me wonder if he works for Monsanto. Their idea of "protection" is kind of similar to ZenPoseur's: using their deep legal and PR pockets to bully farmers for profit, and spin it as improving our food supply.
Peggy says:
When I was student teaching, I was supposed to do a cross-curricular project with the student teacher in the biology class. My students were going to write a research report on the biology chapter! Which was… EVOLUTION. In a rural Indiana public school. OH GOODIE.
I had one student openly refuse to write the assignment, until she told her parents, who (luckily) told her to stfu and do the assignment because it's just a summary of the biology chapter (WHICH INCLUDES A SIDEBAR ON CREATIONISM), but one of her friends showed up the next day looking super-embarrassed with a note from her mom that said she "wasn't allowed to write about the chapter but could read about it." What? So… passive learning is OK, but active learning isn't. Whatever. And then I had one girl who turned in a two-page (inaccurate) retelling of the Book of Genesis, who was super-pissed that she failed the assignment and accused me of being a SCIENCE RELIGIONIST. LOLOLOLOL.
Girl with the note and one other boy who scrounged up a note got an alternative assignment, which was to do the exact same thing with a chapter from the history book. This boy, like most of the other boys in the class, turned in nothing whatsoever.
SIGH.
Anyway, my point is: don't worry, Steve. Your poor kids are probably already set on their paths–half of them are going to fight for your beliefs in stupid-ass ways, and fail out of school; the other half of them are deeply, deeply embarrassed by your nut-jobbery and will run away to a big liberal city the second they turn 18.
Misterben says:
I enjoy laughing at creationists and climate change deniers as much as the next guy, but it just baffles me when someone manages to get a PhD in a scientific field without understanding scientific method at all. The scientific method doesn't look for "all sides of scientific theories", it looks at the evidence. Science doesn't try to "provide some balance", it looks at the EVIDENCE. Teaching science isn't about teaching that "there's only one truth" about something; it's about CONSIDERING EVIDENCE!
Anybody involved in coaching this idiot towards his PhD should be ashamed of themselves for not getting it through his thick head that the only thing that matters in science is hypothesis, experiment, evidence. Not "truth" or "balance".
HoosierPoli says:
@Misterben
His PhD is in "crop management", which means he has an advanced degree from some A & M out in Buttcrack, KY. He knows the exact pesticide tolerances of Roundup Ready soybeans, and therefore feels that he has the right to comment on all matters scientific, including whether it's a good thing to dump pesticides into groundwater.
Daniel says:
I presume you are aware of the Teach the Controversy apparel, but for your readers who are not:
http://controversy.wearscience.com/
Good stuff.
Megan says:
Though I've never heard of "Not Evil, Just Wrong" (like most of us, I'm sure!), I do have to point out that there is a legitimate argument against the DDT ban. The Wikipedia article points out that only 12 countries allow the use of DDT and this does not include most African countries. There is spirited debate in Kenya and Tanzania over the use of DDT; proponents want it brought back for small-scale use in homes to protect against malaria, but the governments have been pressured by western nations to uphold the ban. We could drastically reduce malaria deaths if DDT was used in a household setting and (in my opinion) USAID should promote its use in the developing world.
You can call me, 'Sir' says:
I love how people like this theatrically pound their fists upon perfectly innocent tables and demand equality in how issues are presented, while simultaneously trying to shitcan every viewpoint opposite theirs.
Also, as someone who's nearing completion of a PhD in biochemistry, I'll agree that 'titration' is both phonetically pleasing and a rather fun and experimentally effective pastime, but let's not drag the technique through the mud by associating it with the likes of Steve. I doubt he's mastered much of anything in the hard sciences, least of all the practice of objective research.
moonbat says:
Welcome to the mind of an industry flack, from a "global crop protection company". I wonder who the "judge" was that criticized "An Inconvenient Truth"?
bookwormz says:
Oh, just thanks for making me laugh on a crappy Tuesday morning. Much appreciated! READ, for chrissakes.
John says:
@Daniel:
Those shirts are amazing. The sad part is, the people they're aimed at mocking almost assuredly don't get the vast majority of them, simply from lack of curiosity about anything other than their particular brand of mysticism. The TimeCube one wouldn't make any sense to a creationist who never even examined that man's writings to evaluate their merit (or extreme lack thereof, in his case).
Crazy for Urban Planning says:
Two years ago we had a biology teacher at a local high school who made the kids watch the 20 minute youtube show "the story of stuff." (I would check it out, its educational) One of the parents went apeshit and went to the next school board meeting armed with an 80+ slide long PowerPoint presentation about how awful and liberal teachers are. In any case, loads of newspaper print was devoted to this crazy dude and he basically looked like an idiot.
JohnR says:
Lots of people fall into the trap "I'm a scientist so I know about all science", so this guy's hardly unique. Chemists pontificating on biology or physicists patronizingly explaining to biochemists how homeopathy is real are par for the course. Throw in that highly-educated idiots are a dime a dozen, and you've got the creationist/anti-science world in a nutshell, and I haven't even got into 'specialty' degrees from prestigious Religious Universities of Religion and Religious Science. Of course, to most people a phud is a phud, and confers distinction as a Man of Reason far beyond its actual scope.
Virginia S. Wood, Psy.D. says:
I want the t-shirt with the little devils inside the guy's head.
Nunya says:
I have a feeling Dr. Steve may have received his PhD from Liberty University, noted alma mater of none less than Glenn Beck.
http://www.therightscoop.com/video-glenn-becks-liberty-university-commencement-address
Ed says:
Glenn Beck didn't graduate college. I'm not sure he even attended.
truth=freedom says:
As someone who holds a Ph.D. in physics I can attest that it is surprisingly common to find, for example, young-earth creationists, among physicists. It was mind-blowingly common. One with whom I shared an office more or less admitted to believing in last-Wednesdayism. It was, at least, intellectually honest, if remarkably narrow-sighted. His fundamental objection was to the idea that one could do science when the only data set is historical. Drawing the connection between science one does in a lab on the various bits and the broad sweep of history was not for him, though. He denied it was even possible.
I was boggled.
Evan says:
He got his Ph.D. from the University of Wisconsin in 1993:
http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb?index=2&did=745524661&SrchMode=1&sid=1&Fmt=2&VInst=PROD&VType=PQD&RQT=309&VName=PQD&TS=1276018837&clientId=18133
Check this out, though:
http://www.entm.purdue.edu/alumninews/alumni/04spring.pdf
(q.v. page 7)
Here's an excerpt:
"He and his wife Alison have 6 children ranging in age from 5 to 14,
Rachel, Emily, Jacob, Isaac, Hunter, and Maggie. Alison keeps plenty
busy managing a family and working with her small business. Besides
raising kids, Steve’s hobbies are hunting and anything else to do with
the outdoors. In the last few years, he’s been getting as much
enjoyment out of teaching his kids to hunt and shoot as in doing those
things himself. So far, Emily has become an excellent tracker and
Rachel a very good marksman. Rachel harvested her first couple of deer
this year. It was a toss-up as to who was more proud, daughter or dad."
Bugboy says:
This guy is in "crop protection"? LMFAO. All that means is he's a fucking stooge working at a chemical company that makes pesticides.
RE: DDT. It's insanely cheap to make and when used PROPERLY is a great product. It was massively abused by the Western mentality that if a little works, more will work better. Cheap is important to countries that can't feed themselves, our sorry asses can afford to ban stuff like this after we've bathed in it until wildlife was dropping dead from it. We did about the same thing with Chlordane. Malathion got railroaded by the mistaken impression it causes harm when it has half a century of use on record to show otherwise.
Folks, chemical companies have product to sell. Don't forget that.
Nunya says:
@Ed – the link is to Glenn Beck's commencement address at Liberty University who honored his "Achievement" with an honorary doctorate in what I can only assume to be blubbering-idiotology.
Crazy for Urban Planning says:
@Nunya and Ed – The link to Glenn Beck's commencement address at Liberty University scared the fuck out of me. I just don't understand – who are these people? Did they come from the dark ages?
Ike says:
CfUP: Those are /real/ Americans. Get used to it. ;-)
Incidentially, the one silver lining to the whole BP ruining the Gulf of Mexico story… I haven't heard or read a news piece about Sarah Palin in weeks!!!
Landru says:
@Ike:
You're not looking in the right places.
http://wonkette.com/415838/did-sarah-palin-buy-herself-a-couple-of-luxury-items
You're welcome.
Ed says:
Ursula, this is the strangest conversation I could have imagined having when I hit "submit" on this post.
I was implying that the writer was molesting the scientific method without its consent, hence the seedy location. Consensual fingering is another matter altogether. If Steve Mroczkiewicz and the scientific method were in an intimate relationship, they could finger one another endlessly and it would not merit comment. But since they are so obviously foreign to one another, I intended to imply that Steve's brutalization of the scientific method was against its will.
This conversation was as strange as I imagined it would be.
Ike says:
Consensual metaphorical fingering. Whatever it takes to get y'all off!
Entomologista says:
As an entomologist who specializes in crop protection, I would just like to say that we're not all nutty.
Entomologista says:
Actually…no. This guy works at Syngenta, which means he probably works with Bt crops. I'm not sure whether Syngenta makes pesticides or not. But the entomologists I know working at Syngenta worth with GMOs.
Ok, wow. Land Grant institutions provide a great education as well as a valuable service for farmers.
Anthony says:
I nominate Daniel Klein for the next FJM treatment.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703561604575282190930932412.html?mod=WSJASIA_newsreel_opinion
Bugboy says:
Hat tip@Entomologista, I'm in the mosquito control business myself, on the service end (vector surveillance), glad to meet you. I was horrified reading bits of his thesis. I've been holding myself to WAY too high of a standard whether I merit pursuing a graduate degree. I've done resistance testing in mosquitoes and it was verified by the people that developled the testing when I was unable to reproduce the results…that you cannot reproduce results.
BUT…If they could make Bt product out of petroleum based chemical stock, they'd be golden, wouldn't they? Hence why I made the assumption he was working on pesticides.
Mr. Wonderful says:
Our children deserve to hear this information so they don't believe that there's only one truth about this important issue.
He deserves to have his degrees nullified, his employment ended, and his head and shoulders severely beaten with a wet noodle cat o' 9 tails for that sentence alone.
And will someone pls. tell me what FJM means? TIA.
Entomologista says:
@bugboy: From what I know, we're moving away from inorganic pesticides. They are useful in limited ways, but there are other products that work better and are less harmful. Many pesticides now are made from plant extracts (neem, chrysanthemum, tobacco) or bacteria (Bt). Bt does exist in a spray form and is certified for use in organic crops. Why? Because it's simply a protein extracted from a bacteria commonly found in soil – which is also why we can make plants express this protein.
Also, I know that there are a lot of fellowships available in entomology if you're looking to go back to school. If you're a member of the Entomological Society of America, that's a good place to look for grad student openings.
beau says:
@Mr Wonderful –
http://www.ginandtacos.com/2008/04/18/david-brooks-gets-the-fjm-treatment/
Bugboy says:
@Entomologista, yeah i'm aware of the move away from inorganics, at least in mosquito control we are even moving past organophosphates now to botanicals…which are really hot (toxic) and very expensive.
I prefer having spend over 25 years in operational programs to have low toxicity, safe to handle materials that have a consistent track record than some cutting edge material the distributor is pushing you to "test" for them…real story that has happened over and over to me. There is also the problem of having high toxicity material and low rates…it means lower droplet count in the field and for mosquito control its a numbers game, we aim for about 15 micron droplets and if you don't have the material to do that in sufficient numbers your probabilities of contact go down. The newest tech we are using is high pressure systems that produce more uniform droplet spectra…which is ticking off the chemical companies because it allows us to use less material.
Squeezing old materials off the market only results in stronger, more toxic, and harder to handle materials replacing them. Nicotine is bad shit, Pyrethroid derivitives are as well. Just because they are "natural" is meanlingess…organophosphates are made from what? Petroleum based chemical stock? What is "unnatural" about that?
Bt is great but relies on ingestion for delivery…so you have a whole host of problems there. GMO's with this proteins expressed are still a questionmark after the reports of GMO corn pollen contaminating wild butterfly populations. If it can happen, it will. I have alway felt we rely entirely too much on monoculture.
I've been pretty focused on the mosquito control field, I'll have to check out the Society.
Mr. Wonderful says:
Thanks, beau. I'm like that Moliere character who is stunned to learn that all his life he has been speaking "prose." I've been FJM-ing Brooks, Noonan, and other worthies all my life for the past couple years!
Zach says:
Randy: All right, boys, I know it's Halloween, but you can't summon dead rappers in the mirror.
Cartman: How do you know?
Randy: I'm a geologist!
SKE says:
I know Steve Mroczkiewicz and have worked with him in the agriculture business. He is intelligent and frankly a good guy.
To read the hateful bashing reminds me of FoxNews.com. Seriously, just because you don't agree, doesn't mean you attack his character and intelligence. Are you following the Ann Coulter/Rush Limbaugh school of thought?
pissed off ginger says:
YOU GUYS CAN SUCK MY FUCKING COCKS!!!1!!