HOW TO SUCCEED IN JOURNALISM

Posted on | by Ed

For the aspiring journalist who lacks the time to read all of this, the short and simple answer to the titular question: grab Sean Hannity's wang and go to town.

Right wing media figures fall into one of two categories these days – sociopaths and sycophants. The sociopaths write the books and host the shows.
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The sycophants kiss the sociopaths' asses to get invited on the shows and maybe, just maybe, get the shot to become sociopaths themselves. They prove their worth in the minors, doing a lot of 5th string blogging on semi-popular websites (World Nut Daily, Tucker's Folly, NRO, etc) and assiduously fawning over Beck, Malkin, Hannity, and the like. Ooh, ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Do a side-by-side comparison of these two pieces: "Hannity's Victory: a must-read this year" by Jedediah Bila (whose previous writing credits consist of "conservatives4palin.com" and…) and "Conservative Victory" by Rebecca Hagelin. As the titles reveal, they are both about the new book Conservative Victory by charity fraud Sean Hannity. For a pair of "pro-family" advocates, these married women aren't shy about blowing Hannity in public. Less reviews than press releases, take a look at some of this fine journalism. First, Hagelin:

Sean says it best, (followed by extended quote)

Sean brilliantly connects the dots between…

Sean’s terrific book outlines specific steps… Here are a few of my favorite steps, please read “Conservative Victory” for all of them. (note: not a sentence)

A Conservative Victory is an American victory. I highly recommend Sean Hannity’s book as the way to get started on securing both.

Don't forget to come up for air, Rebecca!
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Anything to add, Jeddy?

When the going gets tough, it’s time for straight talk. It’s time to say what needs to be said, without all of the lofty rhetoric. That’s precisely what Sean Hannity does in Conservative Victory. Hannity’s style is approachable and no-nonsense, much like the down to earth, call it like he sees it energy he has brought to radio and television from the start. He discloses in his introduction that, “We are in desperate need for a new vision, and an effective strategy, to defeat Barack Obama and the American left before they rob from us everything our ancestors sacrificed to bequeath us, and all that our military has fought, bled, and died to preserve”

Can you even imagine writing shit like this for a living? To have your name attached to such embarrassing and blatant ass-kissing? Well, there's a healthy market for this kind of literary detritus.
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The only impediment to success is a gag reflex, apparently.

13 thoughts on “HOW TO SUCCEED IN JOURNALISM”

  • John Danley says:

    Sean is "coming" to Cool Springs TN this weekend for a book signing at Sam's Wholesale. Free samples of pizza bites, a set of tires, an 89 oz box of Cheerios, and the chance to hang out with an Ameritard.

  • ladiesbane says:

    Hey, the Right Wang Ladies have been teaching us to lose our gag reflex since Phyllis Schlafly created STOP (Stop Taking Our Privileges) to combat the Equal Rights Amendment.

    Even though her madness eventually spawned the perfect GOP fembot (Sarah Palin), designed to make neo-con-men grovel and drool, it also created a raft of inferior Galateas who jockey for position by seeing who can hold her breath the longest. There are lots of gents who are better at it (another vindication for Schlafly), but they can't beat the girls for cheerleader-type enthusiasm.

  • bb in GA says:

    Doesn't blogging represent the editorial side of 'journalism'? From what I read here from Ed and the gang we hardly have a discourse with dispassionate objectivity about the passing freak parade. And that is as it should be, isn't it?

    For a right leaning in-duh-vidual – What are the two most egregious examples (say in the last month) of pigeon gut sucking, reich wing propaganda on the straight news portion of Fox News. You know, with those obvious liberals like Shep and Julie. They run straight news from 9am – 4 pm eastern.

    With my highest expectations intact, I don't envision the names Beck, O'Reilly, or Hannity to appear in the replies. We'll see…

    //bb

  • ladiesbane says:

    Ah, bb, it's true that Shep has his moments (though Julie is about as sharp as a bag of wet mice), but how can I respect a channel that cuts off its approximation of journalism two hours before news time? I don't expect that it would share prime time with something so ratings-unfriendly as the actual news, with whatever slant, but working hard to prevent early viewers from catching news by mistake tells me a lot about Fox.

    Remember the Tim Meadows sketch on SNL? "It's Sunday, 4:53 in the a.m., and that means you're watching Black Perspectives, fulfilling WNBC's community programming requirement."

  • bb in GA says:

    Oh, I forgot…Shep runs again from 7 to 8 pm eastern so that undercuts the no-prime-time "news" problem.

    My respectful request still stands, and if you call before dark tonight, I will reduce my request to the ONE most egregious example (in the last month) of right wing agitprop passing as straight news on the FNC.

    Obviously, I would (with the proprietor's grace) reserve the right to discuss it further. //bb

  • OneMadClown says:

    After reading this post, that ad for the Briana Banks Creative Writing Seminar made a lot more sense.

Comments are closed.