REDEFINING "MASTURBATORY"

"Masturbatory" is an adjective often used to describe inappropriately enthusiastic or excessive praise, i.e. a masturbatory movie review. Here I must use it differently and more literally in that I think the person who wrote this was actually masturbating.
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Rich Lowry from the National Review on Sarah Palin's debate performance:

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It's one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O'Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy.

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I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can't be learned; it's either something you have or you don't, and man, she's got it.

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Thanks, Rich, for letting America know just how furiously you were pounding the pud on Thursday evening at 9:30 PM Eastern Time.

I can never wrap my head around the idea of people getting paid to write dreck like this.

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9 thoughts on “REDEFINING "MASTURBATORY"”

  • Keith Olbermann drew much the same conclusion last friday in his "Worst Persons In The World" bit. It's pretty funny.

  • Did Obama really make that statement about our troops "just air raiding Afghan villages and killing civilians"?

  • What point are you trying to make in asking if Obama said that? So what if he did? We HAVE killed hundreds of civilians in recent months in air raids, including one attack that decimated an entire village. I'm guessing, and I could be way off here, that Obama was arguing that killing lots of civilians is not a particularly good tactical move and is a good way to lose a counterinsurgency. But hey, I could be wrong, maybe it's because he hates the troops and wants them and America to lose to the terrorists…

  • brandon – i think its an unspoken assumption that all of us, as liberals, hate the troops and want America to lose to the terrorists.

  • As much as I loathe McCain, I have to concede that he knows what he's doing as a panderer to the horny-straight-males-too-lazy-to-understand-the-issues demographic. He's gotten them hungrily drooling over Palin's winks and her fecundity and the fact that she raised a teenage daughter who obviously puts out … so when it comes time to vote, their styluses are already pointed squarely at the Republican side of the ballot.

    That said, I have pretty strong suspicions he lucked into doing all this, though. Because he's obviously in that demographic as well.

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