In the past 5 days, among media, things I have seen on the interweb, and people with whom I have spoken, Sarah Palin has been compared to Theodore Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Ronald Reagan, Martin Luther King, Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, and Lyndon Johnson. She is, in short, the most amazing, incredible human being in the history of people. Tenured researchers at the University of Awesome have finally solved their field's historically unsolvable equation. The answer is Sarah Palin.
Not that the reaction has been hyperbolic or anything.
I'm sure these comparisons, lain upon someone her new acolytes never heard of five days ago, are well-grounded in reality. If anything they may not be going far enough.
She also reminds me of Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln, Sir Edmund Hillary, and legendary knuckleballer Phil Niekro. She runs faster than Usain Bolt. She can deadlift a 1974 Ford Ranchero. She can cure pleurisy with her touch. She appears on tortillas in El Salvador. She can make dinner with one hand while writing in Hittite cunieform with the other.
She declined to break the NFL single-game record for safeties out of respect for Fred Dryer.
She craps platinum ingots. Her penmanship has been described as unpretentious and legible.
She is not an American, she is America.
J. Dryden says:
God forbid she should be substantial enough to be described without comparison or analogy. I mean, nothing says "Important" like resemblance to a whole lot of other things that don't have a lot in common with each other. (Though I do hear that when darkness falls in Alaska, a costumed avenger sweeps down from the skies to rain super-powered justice upon all evildoers–and curiously, this masked heroine and Palin are never seen together at the same place…)
L. Carr says:
Aaaaaah..haaahahahahaha! That was great!
Michael says:
Palindromes? Am I missing something?
Ed says:
Palin?
There are no actual palindromes, it is a cheap play on her name. Incidentally, my favorite palindrome is "Sit on a potato pan, Otis."
Patti says:
So, there are no palindromes, but I'm listening to a bunch of Palin Drones discussing the value of Executive Experience and the geography proximity of Alaska to Russia.
Brandon says:
Holy fuck, this is good! You know, some sick part of me would just love to see a Palin-Chuck Norris ticket in 2016…I mean, political debate in this country long ago ceased being remotely serious, why don't we just all out embrace the fucking circus this has become.
Ed says:
You know what's screwed up? When Norris subs for Hannity, the show becomes ten times more watchable. I'm serious. How pitiful is that – the presence of Chuck Norris makes it less stupid.
Michael says:
OH, duh. Palin-dromes. Got it.