ED BECOMES A SOFTWARE TESTER

I am the world's only satisfied user of Windows Vista. Honestly. Bugs aside, it's amazing. Yes, that's an awful lot like saying "Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?" But this past weekend, as I talked yet another person off the Fuck It, I'm Going Back to XP Ledge, something struck me: why in the name of God is the buying public doing Microsoft's product testing?

Several factors contribute to my status as one of the first and most satisfied Vista users. I build my own computers, and I don't care what anyone says, it makes a difference.
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Big manufacturers use cheap components and load their machines with so much bullshit – trial versions of everything, games, help tools for idiots, ridiculous multimedia software – that even deleting it will cause problems thanks to Vista's flaw of collecting bits and pieces of old registry files.
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For instance, if you delete a trial version of Symantec AV your networking capabilities will be messed up beyond belief. Symantec has created specific tools for Vista users looking to uninstall the programs. Most users probably are not aware of this – they know only that they paid $400 for the damn software and they can't wirelessly connect to the internet.

This is just one example, of course. We're 18 months into its release and they are still finding new bugs and scrambling to fix the old ones. I cannot shake the feeling that Microsoft got very, very lazy here. They figured, "Hey, fuck it. Release it and we'll mop up the few bugs as they happen." Unfortunately it's not a "few." And the average consumer does not expect to pay that much for something half-finished.

Not only is Vista buggy, but frankly most of the machines out there are not powerful enough to run it properly. Microsoft confidently predicted that it would work on "95% of existing PCs" with no modification. Dual-core and newer P4 systems will handle it well, but the kinds of machines that fill computer labs on campuses, public libraries, government offices, middle schools, and so on are not going to run an OS designed to compliment dual-core architecture. We tend to forget this in tech-porn land, but the overwhelming majority of computers in use are old pieces of shit. Their users are not interested in maximizing system performance or keeping the latest and greatest hardware installed. I have no problems running Vista – on a spankin' new Core 2 Duo at 2.8ghz. But I am 0.01% of computer users. I can't imagine installing this on the PCs at your local library or in your dentist's office.

I've never abided the general public rage toward Microsoft but I certainly have cause to question their collective intelligence after this debacle.
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It would have been far more logical to wait another year for the product to be refined and for the end users' hardware to catch up a little. What's done is done, though. Feel free to contact me if you need to be talked off the ledge.
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*Or you could take my advice: back up, format, and do a clean install. There seems to be a growing consensus among Vista users that "upgrade" installs never work.

2 thoughts on “ED BECOMES A SOFTWARE TESTER”

  • I'm not sure that I'd be all that unhappy with Vista either, so long as the correct hardware is chosen to run it. But there are plenty of folks who don't know much about building a machine to the proper specs and just look for stickers on the side of the box at the nearest Office Depot. They take 'Vista Capable' to mean that their computers will actually run Vista. These folks are probably purchasing a 'Vista Capable' machine because their old XP box was too slow with malware and decided to toss it like a stinky paper towel for a fresh one. But their new 'Vista Capable' box is more like 'Handy Capable' once Vista is actually on it. Oh well, just more customers for Apple to pick off with their user friendly interfaces and properly spec'd out hardware.

    Me? I'm gonna sit on XP and wait for Windows Vista Millenium Edition to come out.

  • I have not used Vista, so I can't speak to it very much. But I do know that while some features are much more streamlined and user-friendly to people like my step-dad, the frequency with which the OS breaks in unusual (and often humorous) ways are not things that your average user can deal with.

    My stepdad's PC failed to recognize either of his CD drives after he installed iTunes. Of course, he had reinstallation software that could have fixed the drivers, but it was sent to him on a CD-ROM. Whoops!

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