NPF: WHITE PEOPLE RAPPING

Posted on | by Ed

This is a fairly strange request, but I don't listen to a lot of popular music and I need your help.

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Many months ago I did a little post comparing some particularly embarrassing rap performances by white girls. For reasons I won't bother explaining (yet) I need to come up with another handful of examples along these lines. So fire off in the comments – the topic is Horrible Rapping by White People. Discuss.

Please note that actual but laughably shitty rappers (Vanilla Ice, Snow, etc) are far too obvious, and therefore they are excluded.
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What I am looking for are instances of white artists who are not necessarily rappers deciding that they will give it a try to show that they are down with the black folks. Or something. Sort of like when Pat Boone made that "metal" album. Yeah, that happened.

I polled my band and they suggested Justin Timberlake.

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And right now I'm horrified by the idea of having to listen to his music in order to verify this claim. If I don't post on Monday, rest assured that I have shot myself and it is all Justin's fault.
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16 thoughts on “NPF: WHITE PEOPLE RAPPING”

  • Liz says:

    Agreeing on Avril. Don't know what Nick linked to but please do check out the original version of "Girlfriend," and then, after you've recovered, check out the version on which L'il Mama guests and marvel at how it is improved.

    Also please do not forget the canon example that is "My Girl" (ak among my friends a "My Jurl") by Joseph Lawrence.

    Courtney and Peggy have a stronger sense of ironic adoration than I do so I assume that they will be all over this shit.

  • JDryden says:

    I'm not sure if it quite falls into this category, but do we all remember Vincent Price's rapping in the breakdown of "Thriller"? Anything Price does is inherently cool, but the combination of idiotic lyrics ("the funk of 40,000 years") and an old man trying to *hit* the *beat* was pretty much the point at which I realized I would never take rap completely seriously ever again.

  • Amanda says:

    There was a terrible show on for awhile called Celebrity Rap Superstar. It consisted of a bunch of C-List Celebs competing weekly to be crowned best rapper. I'm guessing you might find some good YouTube videos of these idiots.

  • Matthew says:

    Okay, I know that sometimes white people rapping sounds a lot like "talking" but what Vincent Price does in "Thriller" has as much relation to rapping as his role in Edward Scissorhands, and I think it's sort of ridiculous to make a judgment about rap based on that.

  • Evan says:

    He's not famous by any means and he's not white, but he is definitely not black:

    http://www.myspace.com/chenscott

    Stop the stupid automatic MySpace music player and scroll down to the other music player below. Check out "The Queen (hip-hop)" and "The Road to the Cross (hiphop)." It might not be apparent at first, but he is singing in English. Wagonhalt, indeed.

  • Peggy says:

    Oh man. I do love stupid things, as MBL rightly points out.

    Sample JT lyric: "When you cheated, girl / my heart bleeded, girl / so it goes without saying that you left me feelin' hurt / just a classic case / s-s-scenario / tale as old as time / girl you got what you deserved" (from "What Goes Around," Futuresex/Lovesounds).

    Also: I have seen more than one instance of models rapping on America's Next Top Model and also nerds geeks rapping on Beauty & the Geek.

    Tyra Banks rapping (I know, I know, she's black; still):
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=7DVSMF7XbAc

    Random (white) contestant rapping at panel on ANTM:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=rbQiSg5hlKM

    Also, my personal favorite rap video EVER:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=zpyROomZpcQ

    I mean, that last one's supposed to be funny, so I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for.

    I'm not sure if Britney's trying to rap or not in her latest single; it's entirely possible that she's just singing. very. slowly. …?
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=89oS4SN4mNg

    And then this parody of that:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=rOQhTr7HK0U&feature=related

    Okay, I have to go to class now (booo) but I will work on thinking of more. I really feel like MBL has thrown down a gauntlet here.

  • Kim says:

    Thre are a lot of good white rappers out there. Copywrite is nasty (www.myspace.com/odotrecords) so is jedi mind tricks (myspace.com/jedimindtricks). Both have been very succesful especially jmt.

    I listened to some suggestions here and robbie williams is not rap. As for G-mo they a majority of those songs have low recording value but sounds like a lot of potential

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