THIS JUST IN: MAN AWESTRUCK BY POTEMKIN VILLAGE

If there's any humor to be found in 4000 dead Americans and untold tens of thousands of dead Iraqis, I'm the kind of person who will find it. Since none of what has happened in Iraq is the slightest bit funny, I have to take my knee-slappers where I can get them. And nothing cracks me up quite as much as "journalists" going on the Department of Defense approved, Army-chapperoned gawking tours in Iraq…and then breathlessly reporting just how swell everything seemed like the obedient stenographers they are.

Victor Davis Hanson, come on down. VDH, as he's known around the frathouse, is a self-described "conservative military historian" affiliated with the Hoover Institute. He's made a long career out of dropping editorials into objective, serious media like the National Review (where he now has a weekly online column). Fine. Good for him. What I don't understand is why newspapers like the Chicago Tribune dignify him with column-inches, as they did with his latest comedy routine on Friday.

Hanson's obliviousness to the fact that he's just been taken on a carefully-coreographed, PR-managed dog/pony show borders on willful ignorance. Can you even imagine writing crap like this for a living? If this column were one of mine, I'd be far too busy punching myself in the face to write another. To wit:

Over the last 90 days, there has been newfound optimism, as Iraqis are at last stepping forward to help Americans secure their country.

Stop me if you've heard that one before.

I spent last week touring outlying areas of Baghdad and American forward operating bases in Anbar and Diyala provinces, talking to Army and Marine combat teams and listening to Iraqi provincial and security officials.

Well, if you spent the week at American forward operating bases, that puts to rest any questions we might have had about the thoroughness of your research and the objectivity of your sources! I'm surprised that the military gave you such an upbeat impression.
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I would have thought for sure they'd say "Wow, are we ever fucked in the ear."

On this recent trip to Iraq, I rode on highways that just a few months ago were nearly impossible to navigate without being blown up by improvised explosive devices. Soldiers now train Iraqi security forces as often as they fight terrorists.

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So you just hopped in a rental car and drove "the highways" solo because they're so safe, right? Any chance you were in an armored vehicle, defended by a gaggle of heavily-armed Marines? And while the last four years of "training Iraqi security forces" hasn't amounted to a hill of happy horseshit, I'm sure the training you observed will do the trick.

I spent last week touring outlying areas of Baghdad and American forward operating bases in Anbar and Diyala provinces, talking to Army and Marine combat teams and listening to Iraqi provincial and security officials. Whether in various suburbs of Baghdad, or in Baqubah, Ramadi, or Taji, there is a familiar narrative of vastly reduced violence.

I wonder if….nah, there couldn't have been any selection bias regarding which Iraqis the author was allowed to speak with by his military escorts. "Provincial and security officials"….check. Civilians….um, they're not mentioned in the article but I'm sure he spoke to dozens of them. Hundreds, maybe.

If Victor Hanson (and his editors…let's not let them off the hook) honestly can't tell the difference between reporting and what Hanson did, I assume they're the same people who think pro wrestling is real well into adulthood. A reflective person might ask "I know what I saw, but what didn't I see?
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" after coming back from the DoD Press Junket tour. Then again, one doesn't secure regular gigs at the NRO by being reflective.