Sorry for mailing it in, but all you get this Friday is a link to something that will pass the time and enrich your life.
The Black Table is a fine website filled with quality and almost always amusing writing. It's a voluminous site and one could easily drown in the chaff, so let me point out the wheat – specifically, the "How-To" index. It includes step-by-step instructions (often accompanied by photos) on performing such crucial tasks as making Pruno (prison wine), making cigarettes out of spinach, and making a lamp out of a blender (which, if the repeated disclaimers are to be heeded, is quite hazardous relative to the inherent value of the final product). The Pruno tome is a classic, but don't skip epics like "From Bacon to Soap: The Impossible Journey" and the two-part odyssey "The Road to Turducken" either.
If you choose to follow the procedures outlined in "How to Make Your Own Jesus Toast" and sell your creation on eBay, I demand a finder's fee for having directed you thusly.