You'll all be happy to note that after three weeks of intensive therapy, Ted Haggard is 100% not gay (image of email at Slate).
One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counselling for Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is "completely heterosexual."…
"He is completely heterosexual," Ralph said. "That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing."…
Haggard said in an e-mail Sunday, his first communication in three months to church members, that he and his wife, Gayle, plan to pursue master's degrees in psychology. The e-mail said the family hasn't decided where to move but that they were considering Missouri and Iowa.
buy neurontin online www.artforhealingfoundation.org/wp-includes/Text/Diff/php/neurontin.html no prescriptionAnother oversight board member, Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, said the group recommended the move out of town and the Haggards agreed.
"This is a good place for Ted," Ware said. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now.
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It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed.
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"It was also the oversight board that strongly urged Haggard to go into secular work.
Thoughts:
1) I need to get me one of these Evangelical wives; if they are willing to follow a guy to Iowa after he spends a good part of their marriage binging on methamphetamines and gay hookers, they'll no doubt find my "weekends begin at 5pm Thursday" and general disorderliness downright charming.
2) I always wondered what goes on at these 'therapy' sessions. Wikipedia has a nice article about the matter, perhaps a bit too much of the (obvious) ethical problems about doing this to teenagers and not enough on the nuts-and-bolts.
(I wonder how much the entire thing is in complete bad faith, with Christian 'healers' working to keep a straight face while explaining to parents how they'll stop their kids from being gay before immediately laughing the $200/hr to the bank. "Ok kid, sit here for an hour; your parents won't kick you out of the house, and I get to buy a new car.
")
2.a) I knew of a friend of a friend who, after coming out to his family during college, started seeing a "Don't Be Gay" therapist arranged through his parents (he, for whatever reason, was trying to meet them halfway). He was also, concurrently, seeing a separate counselor who was helping him adjust to becoming a gay male. Before you start thinking how sad and counterproductive this situation is, think of these three words: "Zany Network Comedy.
" ("Sopranos" meets "Three's Company.") Anyone want to work on a pilot with me?
3) Man, did they run that guy's ass out of town. So much for healing and forgiveness. Hope you saved your money man. Good luck with your online degree.
Nick says:
"Man, did they run that guy's ass out of town."
Well yeah. Your ass is only allowed in town if it's never been penetrated. And Jesus only forgives those who don't need forgiveness.
Samantha says:
I find H.B. London's statement concering Haggard's decision to study psychology to be particularly disturbing:
"Many of us that go into the healing, helping professions do so out of some sort of dysfunction or traumatic event in our lives…"
Good to know H.B., good to know. I'm sure Missourians and Iowans must be so thrilled that they've been chosen to be next on Haggard's list of folks to help and to heal.
Ed says:
I still think that my ticket to fame and fortune involves a hidden microphone, an undercover cameraman, and a month-long stay at Ex-Gay Ministries.
Tell me you wouldn't pay to see that documentary.
Ed says:
And I agree 150% with the "wink wink" therapy idea.
Therapist takes large check from parents. Therapist and Troubled Teen Homosexual unenthusiastically plow through some dialogue with a lot of winking and nudging. Therapist buys boat. Parents pay for Teen's college education. Teen turns 19 and comes out.
I assume this is how about 90% of it goes, with the 10% balance consisting of self-hating Catholic school gay kids who really try to "heal" themselves and avoid damnation.
Samantha says:
Ed, if by "plow through some dialogue with a lot of winking and nudging" you mean "having therapist/troubled teen homosexual intercourse on dad's dime," then, yes, I think you're probably right…After all, the therapist only became a therapist because of some sort of dysfunction.
Jake says:
Ted Haggard – gay hookers and meth + online psychology degree = good comedy
Jude says:
Haggard is the latest example of Colorado's CRRRRREEEEEEPY uprising. First, it was the weird Columbine/W.W.J.D. crowd, then it continued with the Colorado Rockies baseball team's 2006 unveiling as a "faith-based organization" with ownership pushing this agenda. You can't make that up.
Samantha says:
Re: colorado's creepiness – let's not forget the Jon Benet Ramsey murder for its christian/pageant culture aspect. Ew.