BE THE FIRST KID ON YOUR BLOCK WITH A DEPRESSED PLATELET COUNT!

File this one under "No, really."

In 1950, the Gilbert Toy Company (who would later make millions with the ubiquitous and hilariously-named Erector Sets) sold something called the "Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab." If you're assuming that this was a cheap plastic chemistry set or toy "scientist" kit that attempted to capitalize on the novelty, popularity, and mystery of atomic energy in the 50s, you are mistaken.
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For $49.99 (about $300 in today's dollar, or approximately the same as a Wii) little Billy and his friends could learn about Our Friend the Atom without much room for error. You see, the "toy" contained multiple samples of different types of radioactive uranium. The "fun" came from using the Geiger counter, electroscope, and spinthariscope to observe "real radioactive decay!

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" and perform other experiments.

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For some reason, Big Government intruded on the free-market rights of the Gilbert Company, ordering the toys recalled and pulled from the market (typical New Deal-era liberals – hopefully the HUAC got most of them). Apparently little kids like to put things in their mouths, and allegedly (according to hysterical left-wing Nanny State types) radioactive uranium isn't safe to ingest. That, combined with the facts that $300 is a pretty expensive toy and most kids don't understand nuclear physics, doomed the Gilbert Atomic Energy Lab to failure. But if you held on to yours, they go for about $8000 on eBay today – probably to a combination of al-Qaeda operatives and rare toy enthusiasts.

Now if I could only get my hands on the included comic "How Dagwood Split the Atom" and kid's book "Prospecting for Uranium!" I think I'd die a happy man.

3 thoughts on “BE THE FIRST KID ON YOUR BLOCK WITH A DEPRESSED PLATELET COUNT!”

  • Well well well…sometimes truth is stranger than fission. What'll they think of next? They could save this whole "where do we dump our nuclear waste now that the lefty-pinko-environmetally-friendly-pc-fascists are onto us" debate and just start recycling the shit in kids toys! Spent carbon rods will be the next big craze! Better get the kids started early on the glorifying of nuclear energy! Ooh Yeah.

    And while your at it, why not pick up the new Biohazard Bobby ™ doll, complete with actual samples of Anthrax, Ebola and Bird Flu! Mail 'em to your friends! Or your friendly local government!

    But seriously, these things fetch $8000 these days? Surely there are plenty of the U-238 Atomic Energy Lab still around…afterall, they've got a half-life of about…ooh, say a couple thousand years or so…

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