MAYBE HE'S RIGHT!

Reactionary racist Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo (I could tell you what party he belongs to, but do I really have to?) recently got in some hot water for saying the following about the city of Miami on noted wingnut rant outlet WorldNetDaily.com.

"Look at what has happened to Miami. It has become a Third World country. You just pick it up and take it and move it someplace.

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You would never know you're in the United States of America. You would certainly say you're in a Third World country," Tancredo said.

Pretty strong words, Tom! The average non-Republican might find some things to criticize about that statement. But I have to rush to the good Congressman's defense for a minute. He didn't mean it that way. Let me explain.

What he means is that southern Florida conducts elections just like they do in Nicaragua or Mozambique. After all, the Department of Justice just declared southern Florida to be the most corrupt place in America. And there isn't even a close second.

Noted corruption capitals like Chicago and New York pale in comparison to the tip of America's wang.

If you're not convinced by the statistics, it's worth noting that Florida's 13th Congressional district race is still undecided because their electronic voting machines mysteriously and inexplicably recorded 18,000 no-votes for the House candidates. Coincidentally enough, the "results" from the voting machines place the Republican candidate just a few hundred votes ahead.

Amazing. Even MORE coincidentally, it's Katherine Harris's old district. EVEN MORE COINCIDENTALLY, the 18,000 no-vote ballots voted 2 to 1 in favor of Democrats in other races on the ballot.

I mean this with all sincerity and honesty, South Florida: go fuck yourself. Shut the hell up and stop trying to influence the affairs of our formerly great nation until you can conduct an election that would pass UN Election Observer standards for the average Ukranian parliamentary race.

Tom Tancredo is right. I just don't think he's aware of why he's right.