CAN'T SPELL 'COMEDY' WITHOUT 'HARD GAY'

About a month ago, someone asked me if there were any (living) comedians I actually like. For someone who is a comedian, said person was understandably confused by the fact that I apparently hate every comedian on Earth. David Cross? So fuckin' overrated, it hurts.

Dane Cook? Get me a rifle. Carlos Mencia? I've taken shits that made me laugh more. Lewis Black? Basically a decade-long version of Chris Farley's "van down by the river" character that struggled to stay funny for 3 minutes.

Basically, modern stand-up comedy is a group of people who are so f'n bad as a whole that anyone who's even halfway decent (Sarah Silverman, Cross, LouisCK, Eddie Griffin, Daniel Tosh) ends up being treated like the reincarnation of Lenny Bruce. Yes, they're funny. No, they're not anything special.

So I'm losing a lot of faith in stand-up. Mostly because I blow at it, but moreso because everyone else seems to blow at it too these days. For some strange reason, I've been getting most of my giggles out of people with bizarre and/or retarded comedy alter-ego characters. Sort of like Sacha Baron Cohen, only, you know, funny. What? FUCK YOU. No. He's not funny. Borat isn't funny – it's Yakov Smirnov with a big budget. Ali G isn't funny. And go watch "Talladega Nights" if you REALLY need proof of how piss-poor this man's comedic skills are.
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Just marvel at how everything on screen dies every time he opens his mouth. Amazing, really.

Anyway.

I love Hard Gay. Go ahead and take that last sentence out of context, please. Hard Gay (aka Masakai Sumitani) is the kind of ridiculous shit that Americans think of when we think of Japanese TV. I spent the better part of this past summer watching Hard Gay clips on YouTube. Whether he's using his skills to help out local businesses, reminding Japan of the importance of Father's Day, interacting uncomfortably with children, or engaging in Hard Gay Social Improvement, this man is just plain hilarious. Of course you also get the comedy bonus of awkward Engrish translation. The character is offensive and completely demeaning to gays. And funny.

On a completely different note, I'm almost as obsessed with Nardwuar lately. Canadian comedian and complete jackass John Ruskin (yes, his parents really named him John Ruskin) legally changed his name to Nardwuar the Human Serviette years ago – and when anyone calls him John, he points out (loudly) that no one calls Iggy Pop "James Osterberg.
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" Basically, this guy is really, REALLY annoying until you reach some tipping point at which you realize he's brilliant. He's an ambush interviewer who focuses on politicians and musicians. He's also intelligent as shit and likes to freak people out by asking them questions about obscure aspects of their past. He gets a lot of "how the fuck did you find out about that?

" looks. A lot. He also gets threatened with physical violence a lot. The best moments come when he interviews unsuspecting people who don't know whether to take him seriously or call the cops. His interview with Panic at the Disco is priceless.

What? You need a stand-up fix? Fine. Russell Peters. He'll be huge soon, I promise.