Item #1: Burger King now offers a sandwich called the Stacker which proudly proclaims "No Veggies Allowed." The sandwich features 4 beef patties, 4 slices of cheese, 8 strips of bacon, and something called "Stackers Sauce." The nutritional payload? 1000 calories, 68g of fat, 240mg cholesterol, and 1800mg of sodium. Combined with a large fries, this "meal" more than doubles the RDA of every dangerous dietary component known to man.
Note the "Make it Beef" logo. Catchy slogan, guys. Catchy.
Item #2: Hardee's now offers the Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger – essentially a giant cheeseburger with a pile of sliced beef, cheese, and sauces on top of the beef patty. The damage? 930 calories, 63g fat, 135mg cholesterol, and 1750mg sodium.
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Fortunately for Hardee's patrons, this new sandwich is practically diet food compared to the nearly-incomprehensible Monster Thickburger (1410 calories, 107g fat (!!!), 229mg cholesterol, 2740mg sodium).
Yeah, that looks tasty
Item #3: Massachusetts surgeons and medical researchers announce that an increasing number of Americans are far too fat to fit in MRI tubes or yield adequate x-rays and ultrasounds. GE and other manufacturers are set to reap windfall profits by selling new multi-million dollar MRI machines to hospitals under the guise that the new machines are better for claustrophobes.
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If, of course, by "claustrophobes" you mean morbidly obese people.
Remember, these three news items are of interest individually but in no way related to one another.
Drew says:
They're related in their tastiness.
Erik says:
That Stacker sounds pretty good right now. I could use 1000 calories.
Samantha says:
You're just gloating because you lost five pounds.
Ed 2.0 says:
The Onion just had an article declaring that the new favorite American condiment is meat. Appropriate.