2004 IN REVIEW – BEST CONSERVATIVE ASS-KISSING

On the heels of Lawrence O'Donnell's award for outstanding achievements in the field of having a liberal meltdown, it is only fair to issue some sort of award to perennial ginandtacos.
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com favorite Sean Hannity for the best performance in a year rife with political ass-kissing. His network-televised "interview" with President Bush (which happened to be the lowest-rated television program ever played on a network during prime time – take that, Brian Benben Show) is such a blatant expose in the art of cock chugging that it can only be described as an attempt at sketch comedy rather than journalism. The spectacle was so incredibly embarassing, even to most conservatives, that it is almost unfair to consider it in the same category as anything else that happened in the election.

Here are just a few highlights:

HANNITY: Do you think that when he says these things, John Kerry, your opponent, you were in these three debates with him, do you think he knows he's not telling the truth? I mean…
BUSH: I'm not sure Sean.
HANNITY: You've been pretty clear on the issue, but yet he continues to go out there and say it. When I think of old people that I know that say to you, uh oh, somebody is going to take my Social Security and that scares them.

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Hannity wraps up his audition for the role of "submissive cum dumpster" in a gay right-wing porn film

HANNITY: Last question. You saw John Kerry in Ohio, all-important swing state, he put on brand new camouflage.
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BUSH: He did.
HANNITY: Said he's a hunter. I understand the gun he had — I'm not sure if it was one of the ones he proposed to ban and he said he — of course — he wants to tax guns. When you see something like that is…
BUSH: My reaction was when it comes to taxes — he can run even in camo but he cannot hide. When it comes to healthcare — it was just a moment in the campaign…
HANNITY: Mr. President, good to see you.

HANNITY: Your faith has been the subject of a lot of press. You've spoken openly how important it is in your life. Explain to — in terms of a daily basis — how you go about keeping your faith strong — what do you do?
BUSH: Well, I pray a lot. And — first of all my faith is a very personal matter and I am very mindful that a person in public life like me should never try to impose my religion on anybody.

HANNITY: You get to see things that we will never get to see. That's your job. You have to look at the intelligence briefings every day. You have to assess the nature of the threat that is facing this country. Is it possible — is it a reality that we could turn on our television sets one day — FOX News Channel I hope — and find out that America is — that a nuclear weapon has gone off here — that a biological agent has been released or a chemical agent — is that a reality?
BUSH: Yes it is. That's the biggest threat we face and we know that a terrorist organization like Al Qaeda wants to acquire a weapon of mass destruction of some kind or another to kill on a larger scale than they did. You see, it's very important, Sean, for the American people to understand that — when I talk about terrorists I'm talking about people who have embraced an ideology — I would call it an ideology of hatred but it is an ideology.

HANNITY: Particularly in the second and third debates, you really sort of stamped his forehead with the Massachusetts liberal. What does that mean to you and what do people — you even said to him at one point he was the conservative senator from Massachusetts. What does that mean?
BUSH: Ted Kennedy was the conservative.
HANNITY: Ted Kennedy was the conservative senator, right.
BUSH: Well, it means to me, on the domestic front, raising taxes. That's what that means and I'm actually convinced he will.

HANNITY: …so my question is, If John Kerry were president would he
make this country more vulnerable and more susceptible to terror attacks?
BUSH: You know, that's ultimately the decision the people are going to have to decide in this campaign and it is by far one of the biggest issues in the campaign. What I say is that his point of view is dangerous because it's very limited in nature.
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This interview will surely stand the test of time and serve as a perfect, archetypical example of sycophantic propaganda masquerading as journalism. Congratulations, Mr. Hannity. It just goes to show you that even a person who has made an entire life and career out of sucking cock can still find ways to hone his craft and suck a little bit more. Old dogs can learn new tricks, although obedience is the only one their master really needs to see.

9 thoughts on “2004 IN REVIEW – BEST CONSERVATIVE ASS-KISSING”

  • I'll hunt around and see if i can find video of that interview. it was absurd – there were all kinds of absent father-figure issues going around; from the relaxed dress code and the romantic beachside camera shots and wicker chairs, it seemed like Hannity was a bit excited that day.

    "Mr. President, you are so strong and beautiful. How do you plan and dealing with those faggy democrats…."

  • That was some pretty damned amazing ass kissing. I heard some clips on the radio show and was amazed. It was questions like "does it make you feel bad when John Kerry lies about you."

    It seem like George Bush was actually at times baulking at the asskissery going on around him.

  • Makes you wonder–can it ever actually go too far, even for the supporters of the cocksuckee? Did Bush's people watch that interview and think "Sweet shit–that's too much! Even die-hard red staters are going to gag at the sight of this! Oh, for Christ's sake–Hannity's cupping his balls now!" Or are the Fox News watchers so possessed of the "Rah Team Red" spirit that even Hannity's post-interview wiping off of his chin didn't faze them?

  • No, the reaction to that TV program was pretty viscerally negative regardless of political affiliation. I think it is safe to say that most conservatives were simply embarassed by it. Those who weren't had to at least understand that nothing was to be gained from it.

  • if it was john kerry and some liberal journalist sucking him off that might not be such a point of interest now would it
    its okay to talk to or about bush if we are bashing him but not if we are praising him
    maybe our country would progress if we could all try to see things from someone elses point of view instead of sticking our heads up our own asses
    furthermore we often hate someones actions because of the reasoning behind them but there are great things that can come out of them
    iraq just held their elections and even though they are going through a tough time i can say that if it were me i would rather go through it than be tourtured and killed for my beliefs and
    the best things are not easily obtained so who cares about the reason behind an action we cant change if something good comes of it like freedom
    maybe im rambling but im sick of all this bashing our president
    we are lucky to live in a country where we can speak our beliefs and maybe its time we try to work together intead of this other bullshit
    kerry lost lets quit bitching about petty shit and start looking for a decent candidate for 2008

  • Wow, what a stunning simultaneous indictment and glorification of our right to free speech.

    Unfortunately, like any complete idiot whose worth to society is virtually nonexistent who would attempt to defend Hannity's interview of Bush, you have completely missed the point. We are not complaining because Hannity didn't "bash" on Bush. No one would expect him to. It was that fact that the interview was so completely unsubstantial that is so funny yet also sad. Hannity did not ask him anything that actually pertained to him. It was entirely question like:

    "Doesn't it make you sad when democrats tell lies about you?"

    Come on? Do you honestly think that this was reputable journalism? Do you think that it was the best way for our president to spend his time?

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