TO DIE UNSUNG WOULD REALLY BRING YOU DOWN

The latest edition in the "This Should Be God-Awful but God Damn is it Fabulous" category, which has been sort of a year-long theme for me, is the new Helmet album Size Matters.

I put off the purchase of this album out of fear that it would be anywhere near as bad as the last Helmet album prior to their breakup.

For those of you who don't recall, which I assume includes everyone except for the band members and their mothers, Helmet put out a post-Betty album entitled Aftertaste. Had the band been sentenced to death for this album, no jury would have intervened on their behalf.
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It is the sort of album that makes one weep for the human condition and rue the day that some people discovered drop-D tuning and the pudding-like bottom end of a cheap solid-state amp.


Page Hamilton circa….back when they were good

In short, then, it was with great trepidation that I purchased this music. Suffice it to say that those who suspected that Page Hamilton spent the last few post-Helmet years gaining weight or developing a drug habit were quite wrong.
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He actually spent that time becoming more awesome.

I am not going to sit here and tell you that this is a "terrific album" in the sense that if you're not already inclined to like Helmet a little, it will not convert you. Then again, if you aren't already inclined to like Helmet a little you are very, very gay, in which case you should be reading this site instead of ginandtacos.com.

Do yourself the favor of at least engaging in enough piracy to try out "Everybody Loves You" from your friends on Soulseek. If that doesn't work for you, then don't waste your money on the album.

But before you send the track to your recycle bin, double-check to make sure you still have a pulse and, if you are male, balls.