AP, CHICAGO – The Chicago White Sox recent acquisition of veteran righty Mike Jackson ensured that the team's 9-man bullpen would have more African-Americans in it (one) than the entire 120,000-strong crowd at Wrigley Field for the Cubs-Sox series over the 4th of July weekend. Saturday's game was briefly delayed in the 7th inning when Jackson entered the game in relief but was detained by security and questioned as to how he managed to get north of Belmont.
Mike Jackson, the first black man to enter Wrigley Field without holding a rake in nearly a decade
So I'm often accused, and rightly so, of condemning things without personally experiencing them. But being a subscriber to the school of thought that one needn't jam a knife in one's abdomen to deduce that it would hurt, I'm pretty comfortable with it.
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Being raised in fine south side tradition, I spent the first 25 years of my life in Chicago without ever having set foot in Wrigley Field. But when my dad managed to score tickets for the more-than-sold-out Cubs-Sox city series this weekend, that changed for both of us.
It was, in short, everything I assumed it was except slightly worse. We entertained ourselves during the rain delays by trying to find an ethnic minority who was not serving food or holding a bat. The people next to us were "low carbing" so they ate their hot dogs without a bun. Everyone was on a cell phone. Backwards baseball caps abounded.
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It was, in essence, a giant open-air frat party full of the 32 year-old versions of the 24 year-old people you hate now. After several hours there I felt an overpowering urge to join the Nation of Islam.
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Unless you're a big fan of hanging out at the Alumni Club or the Barleycorn, I'd recommend against the experience.
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Personally I don't think I'd return if I was dying of cancer and the cure flowed from one of Wrigley's water fountains.
Jake says:
Another reason to hate Wrigley Field: The trough room. It's like family-style dining, except everyone at the table is peeing together. They even set you up so you're FACING ONE ANOTHER at the troughs.
Talk about your institutionalized pee-shyness.
Ed says:
Not to mention that the troughs are situated on a parallel line with the entryway, so the people coming through the door all get an nice unobstructed view of the first dozen wangs in use at the time.